Sometimes I crave distractions. I find it very hard to focus on any one thing. Even now while I write this I am watching videos at http://cinemassacre.com. I don't why I have this problem. I used to be able to focus on one thing at a time. I think sitting in front of a computer makes it worse. Here I am in front of a machine that allows me access to limitless information. I almost feel guilty not taking advantage of that.
Whether that is the reason or not it really is a chore feeding my craving. I sometimes feel like Johnny 5. Of course there are so many things I should be doing. Things that I need to do. And yet they fall to wayside.
My mother did not fall off the wagon. She lit the damn thing on fire. She went to the dentist last week. Her dentist gave her a prescription for Vicodins. In the course of two days she took 27 pills. She came clean to me and handed the rest over to her therapist.
I wasn't mad. I know that sobriety isn't something that just happens. It takes time. I takes work. She is trying. I can't ask for more than that.
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