Sometimes, when I look back at the toys of my childhood, I am amazed by how out of left field some of them were. I don't know if the 90's had a larger contingent of these crazy toy-lines then previous and following decades, or if they just stick out in my head more. Take Barnyard Commandos for instance, it is a line of toys built around pigs and sheep fighting each-other. It sounds stupid. In fact it was stupid, and yet it was so odd I couldn't help but love it. So on this edition of Tat Tuesday I'm going to take a look back on that stupid toy-line and tell you why I loved it so much.
Let's start with a little background info on the line. It was produced by Playmates in 1989. The following year a 4-episode animated series was released. The line wasn't successful enough to get a full series and the toys only lasted for 2 waves. While the series did debut in 1989 I still think of it as a 90's toy.
The basis of the line was very simple, a group of pigs and a group of sheep consumed radioactive materials from an abandoned military experiment. As you can imagine this caused the animals to mutate. They went from your run of the mill barnyard creatures to intelligent, anthropomorphic, soldiers. The sheep became the R.A.M.S. (Rebel Army of Military Sheep) and the pigs became the P.O.R.K.S. (Platoon of Rebel Killer Swine). That's all you really need to know. The attraction of the series, to me at least, was the individual characters. Their names, designs, and weaponry, to be exact. As such I think it will be best to look at each one. Starting with the R.A.M.S. because I like them more than the P.O.R.K.S.
Before we look at the figures individually let's look at the basics of the figures. The Commandos themselves are made of soft rubber and have no points of articulation. In fact these toys are more similar to doggy toys than anything else. Each toy comes with an accessory, most of which connect to the figure itself. The accessories are made of a harder plastic and have no action features. As you can see the toys don't do a lot. The line relied on aesthetics and creativity.
R.A.M.S. Series 1
The first R.A.M.S. figure I want to look at is Sergeant Woolly Pullover. He is the only R.A.M.S. figure from the first series that stands on two feet. As such he takes on a much more anthropomorphic appearance. His simple gun accessory and clean design make him my favorite of the first series. The bio on the back of his package refers to him as having no patience, no sense of humor, and being single minded.
Next we have Commodore Fleece Cardigan. Fleece is equipped with a a backpack that helps him navigate through the swamp. It includes an outboard motor and rutter. This accessory is more vehicle than weapon. I love the look on Fleece's face. It makes him look like a no nonsense kind of guy. This goes along with his bio which calls him a "do-it-by-the-book" officer.
Major Legger Mutton is the heavy hitter of the group. His back pack is loaded with one huge missile. The figure itself is posed with his head down and his horns at the ready. Sadly Legger is too proud to wear the glasses he needs to make his missile effective.
Pilot Fluff Pendleton is the R.A.M.S. air support. Like Commodore Fleece Cardigan, Fluff's accessory is a vehicle. His backpack allows him to attack the P.O.R.K.S. from the air. He is known a practical joker and loves nothing more than buzzing the pig pens.
P.O.R.K.S.
Series 1
General Hamfat Lardo is known to his platoon as "Top Pig". Hamfat is armed with the deadly Death Star Laser, that for some reason includes a snout cover. Hamfat believes himself to be the reincarnation of famous generals but his ineptitude contradicts that.
Private Side O'Bacon is a reluctant soldier. Although he is armed with a powerful flamethrower he isn't a soldier at heart. He ended up in the military after a night of partying but has adapted to the life well.
Sergeant Shoat N. Sweet is similar to Sergeant Woolly Pullover in that he is standing on his hind legs. As I said before I like how this adds to the anthropomorphic look of the figure. Shoat comes with the only accessory in the first series that doesn't attach to a figures body. He is armed with a Anti-Aircraft Gun that has a movable gun turret. Shoat's bio describes him as a fast talker who is both nimble and quick-witted.
The final member of the P.O.R.K.S. series 1 is Captain Tusker Chitlins. Since I couldn't find a pic of his bio, or sadly any of the series 2 bios, I can't talk about his personality just the figure itself. Tusker is armed with a submarine style vehicle back pack. I assume he is the natural enemy of Commodore Fleece Cardigan.
R.A.M.S.
Series 2
Master Sergeant Cornelius Cannonfodder is packaged with a cannon. He follows in the footsteps of Sergeant Shoat N. Sweet in having an accessory that doesn't connect to his body. He has coloring similar to woodland camo that gives him a unique look.
Next we have Private Bull Bellwether. He is armed with a missile backpack that is fitted with a helmet. This is another figure that stands on its hind legs. This was done more often in the 2nd series.
Missiles Muttonchop is the heavy gunner of this group. He is equipped with with a missile launching backpack like Bull, but on a larger scale. If you look closely you can see that Missiles has a little beard. It's those small touches that make a character.
The last of the R.A.M.S. is Lieutenant Sureshot Shearling. He is very similar to Woolly, not only because he stands on two legs, but also due to his weapon. He is armed with a huge gun backpack. He is set apart from Woolly by his very unique coloring. Sureshot is my favorite of the second series.
P.O.R.K.S.
Series 2
The first P.O.R.K.S. series 2 figure also happens to my favorite of the P.O.R.K.S. figures. Corporal Hy Ondahog not only stands on his hind legs but he has an eye-patch. When you add to that his Rocket Launcher that he holds above his head like a boombox you get a very characterful figure.
Staff Sergeant Blasster McBacon is the first figure in this line to have an accessory that is a vehicle. Not only is his backpack a missile launcher but it is also a helicopter. This means that the P.O.R.K.S. have someone to go against Fluff Pendleton. His helicopter back pack really sets him apart from the pack.
Major Piggyback Gunner is the last of the standing figures. He is equipped with a huge gun back pack that makes the most of his stance. Of all of the accessories I find his the coolest. It somewhat reminds me of a mech suit.
The final figure in the line is Captain Hogg Wilde. To be fair his backpack doesn't really standup to the rest in this line but he does stand out in his own way. For some reason his figure is posed lying down. That is one of those little things that catches my attention.
No toy-line is complete without a few vehicles and Barnyard Commandos did not disappoint. There where a total of 4 vehicles in the line. Above is the Bacon Bomber a R.A.M.S. flying vehicle fashioned after a biplane. I absolutely love the design. From the twin guns with sights that the figure can't look through to the oh so short wings.
Not to be outdone the P.O.R.K.S. had the Pork Chopper. This open cockpit Chopper is so squat and oddly proportioned that I can't help but smile when I see it.
Back on the ground the P.O.R.K.S. troopers had the Pork-A-Pult on their side. This vehicle looked more like a mobile weapon's platform than a vehicle proper. Not only is it decked out with a Gatling gun and satellite dish, but the entire vehicle is used to propel P.O.R.K.S. soldiers at the enemy. This series has a vehicle that uses it's characters as ammo.
The last vehicle is the R.A.M.S. answer to the Pork-A-Pult the Ram Tank. This small understated vehicle makes use of the R.A.M.S. soldiers actual horns. Again that is one of those small things that catches my eye.
As you can see for a Toy Line that lasted such a short period of time there is a lot to be seen. Sadly these guys have fallen to the wayside. They aren't that well remembered and have yet to be embraced by the Nostalgia wave. As such finding info and decent pictures was a bit of a bitch. As you may have noticed a lot of the pictures came from FigureRealm.com. You can check there website for more info and pictures of the Barnyard Commandos.
I hope you enjoyed this little trip down Memory Lane with me. I'll see you for another Tat Tuesday in two weeks.
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