Things have gone bad to worse. My mother is in despair. Stuck and unable to move. There is nothing she can do. No way to help herself. No way I can help her. I thought maybe some meditation might be helpful.
I tried to help her visualize something, anything to get away from the pain and fear. She couldn't do it. Her mind is to deeply buried. I want to pull her up but I can't. I am so tired. So spent. I know that she must feel infinitly worse. That scares me. How much longer can she last? Everyone has a breaking point. Has she already passed hers? Is this what truly being broken is?
I did some research on Vicodin withdrawal. She should be coming out of it. This should be the end. But I have a feeling that things are going to get much worse. Like maybe this was the easy part. I could just be in bad state of mind. I don't know. I keep thinking of a hill. Only the hill doesn't have a hilltop. Instead all that's there is hole. I know that sounds overly dramatic. But that's how I feel.
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