Today was a good day. As close to good as we have had recently. The past few days have been pretty bad. My mother was fragile, depressed and anxious. On Monday morning she went to a doctor's appointment. She was shaking and crying. I couldn't go with her do to money issues.
As scared as she was she prevailed. Unfortunately it turned out her appointment was on Tuesday. When she came home she was a wreck. Shaking and crying even more. The small task had nearly broken her. She spent the rest of the day on edge.
When Tuesday came it was the same story just a different day. This time she decided to walk to her appointment and take the time to calm down. Things went a little better. But only slightly.
Last week her psychiatrist upped her anti anxiety medicine by three fold, it wasn't enough. It turns out that she had been double dipping. What was supposed to last four two weeks at three pills a day was almost gone in a week. I told her to be honest with her doctor. I was wrong.
She was treated like a junkie. Her doctor accused her of abusing her pills. She again recommended a methadone pill. My mother told her that she was craving vicodins, she just felt very anxious.
Her doctor sent her off with nothing. Even with that as the day went on she got better. She even went through a visit, from my cousin, without crying. This was a step forward.
For the first time in weeks she has gone an entire day without shedding a tear. I should be happy. And yet I am not. I am worried about what will happen with no anxiety medication. I get the feeling that this will be the quiet before the storm. Which sucks because the last just barely ended.
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