On Friday my mother went to the emergency room in the hope of getting something, anything, to help with her withdrawal. She was turned away. She spent the day on the brink of suicide. She screamed for death and cursed her life. I tried to keep her from sinking to low. I didn't do very well. truth be told there was a moment when I wanted to die as well.
I have attempted suicide twice in my life. Once when I was 13 and again when I was 18. That was ten years ago. During that time I have not had a true suicidal thought. There have been flashes, but they never went anywhere. But on Friday, as I sat in the bathroom, I craved the relief of death. It only lasted a few seconds, but they were bad seconds.
Following that I pulled myself together and did everything I could to be there for her. I even endured a few half hearted punches to my jaw. I wasn't at my best though. I could have done better.
However we survived. Earlier today she returned to the hospital and received some much needed treatment. Things are looking up. But I was thinking that just a few days ago. We'll see what happens next.
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