Something Sunday.

A "Traditional Family". I suddenly have a craving for white bread.

I had planned to post short stories on Sundays. However I haven't gotten around to writing any new material. As such there have been no Sunday posts. Until now. This is the first "Something Sunday." I'll try to post something of interest on Sundays from now on. This first post about my experience with the "Traditional Family".

As you may know New York has recently passed a law allowing same sex marriage. Something I am all for. Some do not agree with me. Many have said that this would be the end of the "Traditional Family". When I was growing up in Spanish Harlem there was only one "Traditional Family". The Melendez family.I am going to take this opportunity to talk about them. If you are interested check after the jump for what I have to say. I'll even sweeten the pot a little. There is a video of a nontraditional family as well.

When I was a child there was a family that lived on our street. They were an anomaly. A family in the “traditional” sense of the word. A mother, a father, and children. The father was a garbage man and the mother stayed at home. He was good with his hands and was athletic, while she was pretty and always looked her best. Not only did the children have both parents but the parents were married. If that wasn’t enough they even had a station wagon. Hell the kids even partook in organized team sports. Hockey to be exact. How many Puerto Rican people do you know who watch hockey, let alone play it?

None of this may sound interesting or shocking to you but it was. You see growing up in Spanish Harlem the normal set up was a one parent home. Most likely a single mother and one child, at least on our block. Most of the kids, myself included, were bastards. As such the Melendez’s stood out. They were what we saw on TV. What we should have had, a real family.

The type you see in the windows of Picture Studios. The ones that went places and did things. They were the family that took vacations, went to the beach, and all those other things. It’s not like I haven’t gone to the beach. Everyone has. But when a family does something like that it becomes more of an outing. It becomes more important. Everything they did seemed more important. They had what we wanted. Some of us craved it longer than others.

I remember playing with the Melendez kids and wanting to be accepted by them. I remember being enthralled by the family dynamic they had. Brothers and sisters living with their parents. I am an only child. Except for a half sister who is much older than I am and who I rarely ever see. Even with that I consider myself an only child. It’s how I grew up.

When I was young my family was made up of myself, my mother, one of my aunts, and her daughter who was my cousin. It was not a typical family set up. It worked though. I was loved and well cared for. Maybe that’s why I lost interest in them faster than the others.

Some of the other children held on to that obsession well into their teenage years. One in particular desperately wanted to be accepted by them. It may have had something to do with living so close to them. He lived in the same building. He saw them everyday. He begged and pleaded with the Melendez children. He wanted to be their friend. It was actually quite sad.

This kid and I had a lot in common. We were both the only child in a home with a single mother. We both had extended families. We both had close contact with the Melendez family. We both liked them and what they had.

The only difference was that I moved on. I saw the cracks. I lost interest in that dynamic quite quickly. I was smart enough to see the shine fade. They had little money, little room, and very little class. The farther I moved from my jealousy the more silly it seemed. Everything about them seemed artificial. It was as if they were actively trying to portray the traditional family.

I don’t want to make them seem like bad people. They weren’t. The children were intelligent and driven. The father worked his ass off. The mother was loving. They were a good family. I can’t take that away from them. From the outside they looked perfect. Which I feel was the intention.

Looking back I seem how hard they tried to be perfect. It was as if they were trying to prove something. I feel that they had to prove they didn’t have too many kids. Their were 6 Melendez children. In one apartment. A small one bedroom apartment at first and then a larger 2 bedroom apartment. When you add the parents that’s eight people bunched together. No mater how you look at it that is just too many trying to make do with too little.

I feel that Mr. and Ms. Melendez knew that and tried to make everything seem better than it was. I know for a fact that they had to do with less food than we did.  We didn’t have a lot of money. In fact we had very little, but it was just my mother and myself. We needed less. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been had I had brothers or sisters.



We are all what life has made us. I can’t say I am satisfied with what I have become. I can’t say that I am proud of who I am. I can’t say that I have done all I am capable of. But I can say that I am who I am. I am true to that. I know what is in my heart. I love my family. I love my Mother, my Aunt, my Cousin, my Father (who now lives with us), and myself. Traditional families may be what we are told to want, but my family was all I needed. It was beautiful. I am thankful for it. As I am sure the Melendez’s are thankful for theirs.