Awesome Fat Guy of the Week.

Recently the Internet has be a buzz with talk of the SOPA and PIPA acts. Smarter people than I have made their views about these proposed laws. What I and most people have taken away from them is that these bills are written in such a way that they can facilitate an insane amount of forced censorship on the Internet. Wednesday a number of websites went dark in protest. The following day the US government shut down the popular file hosting website MegaUpload. A lot of people see this as a possible glimpse into the future if the aforementioned bills pass. Now you may be wondering what any of this has to do with the Awesome Fat Guy of the Week. Well the founder of MegaUpload, Kim Schimtz, may just be an Awesome Fat Guy. I say may because I have yet to decide if he deserves that accolade. Check after the jump to see what I decide.

When I look at this picture I hear the opening of CSI:Miami. I can't help it.

Kim Schimitz or as he is also known Kim Dotcom, Kimble, and Kim Tim Jim Vestor, was born in Kiel, Germany on January 21, 1974. At the age of 20 he founded the company DataProtect. Five years later DataProtect and IVM Engineering presented the "Megacar", a Audi A8 filled all types of high tech wonders. In 2000, Schmitz sold 80 percent of the shares to "TUV Rheinland". A year later "TUV Data Protect" went bankrupt.

A fat man with a gun is automatically cool.

In 1998 Schimtz was sentenced to probation for computer fraud and handling stolen goods. Schimtz had traded stolen calling card numbers which he had bought from US hackers. It was not his only run in with the law. In 2002, Schmitz was arrested in Bangkok, deported to Germany, and put on probation yet again. This time it was for insider-trading. The largest case of insider-trading in Germany at the time. A year later Schimtz pleaded guilty to embezzlement and received a two year probation sentence. Most recently Schimtz was arrested in criminal copyright infringement charges. His latest arrest was due to his involvement with MegaUpload. Kim founded the company and was CEO.

It  takes a brave man to wear a white suit while fat. It takes an awesome one 

 

to do so while sitting next to a nude model.

While not making assloads of money and committing white collar crimes Kim led an exciting life. He competed in the Gumball 3000 twice. In 2001 he founded a company that supposedly used artificial intelligence to invest for maximum return. He has made large donations to charities such as Christchurch Earthquake Fund and donated to a fireworks display for Auckland's New Year's Eve celebration. He also leased, what is believed to be, New Zealand's most expensive home.

New Zealand's most expensive home.

Speaking of money. Not only did Kim lease and incredibly expensive home he also owned a fleet of cars. Including a Rolls-Royce Phantom Drop Head Coup, a Mercedes-Benz ML63 Amg, a Mercedes-Benz E63 Amg, and  a Mercedes-Benz ML63 Amg, all of which had vanity plates. So just how much money did (I say did and speak in past tense because all of his belongings have been confiscated and his bank accounts suspended) he have? Well the FBI suspended a total of 64 bank accounts and multiple PayPal accounts, which totaled over $175 million.

Future Bond villain in the making.

So, what we have is a rich crook who just so happens to be a fat guy. Sure he has done some great things. I, for one, have used MegaUpload hundreds of times. In fact the Website I spotlighted on Wednesday hosted a number of their shows on MegaUpload. So, does that make him awesome?

Shades? Check. Suit? Check? Watch? Check. Awesome? Fucking Check.

No. Kim Schmitz is not an Awesome Fat Guy. Kim Schmitz is a Big Bad Man and that is just as awesome if not as good. Which means that this week the Awesome Fat Guy of the Week has been replaced with the first Big Bad Man.