Media Monday.

I did something that I promised myself I would never do. I missed an “Awesome Fat Guy of the Week” post.  I shouldn’t have. I didn’t really have a reason. I just couldn’t get myself to work on it. Sometimes being lazy can bite. Anyway today is Monday and that means it’s time for G.I.Joe. This week I am looking at the third mini-series that also happens to be the first five episodes of the ongoing series. So this is this is our first taste of the series itself. It tastes the same as the previous mini-serious but more “ongoingy”.  Let’s just move on.

G.I.Joe Miniseries 3 (AKA) Season 1 Episodes 1-5
The Pyramid Of Darkness

Episode 1
The Further Adventures of G.I.Joe.

The first episode starts with the transport of a space shuttle. The Joes are on security. As always they are wary of a Cobra attack. They are right to worry. Cobra attacks and attempts to grab the shuttle right out of the air. They are unable to do so and it appears that Cobra Commander, Tomax, and Xamot are about to be captured. As the Joes close in two huge submersible robots appear and whisk the three men away. A number of Joes, including Shipwreck and Snake Eyes, pursue the robots deep underwater. It turns out that Cobra has a huge base hidden on the bottom of the river bed. Cobra Commander, Tomax, and Xamot escape into the base as the robots attack the Joes. Shipwreck and Snake Eyes are able to sneak inside the base but the other Joes are sent packing.

Meanwhile Flint and Lady Jaye are in hot pursuit of Destro who has flown in the skies above Enterprise City. Destro is able to evade his pursuers by landing inside a building. The building is under Cobra control and, considering that Cobra Commander, Tomax, and Xamot are there, may be connected to the underwater base. It is at this time that we learn what Cobra's true intent was. They were never after the shuttle. The plan was to use the attack as a distraction so that a cargo pod could be secretly placed inside of the shuttle.

The Joes discover this when the shuttle has to use it's retro rockets. The Joes on the shuttle, which is on it's way to a G.I.Joe space base, decide to investigate. Unbeknownst to them Zartan, who is disguised as a Joe, has snuck onboard. He accompanies the Joes to the cargo area. The Joes find the new piece of cargo and cart it off to be inspected. As they do this Zartan unleashes the Dreadnoks from another pod. It turns out that the Cobra cargo pod houses a number of furry little creatures,. The "Fatal Fluffies", as they are called, are more than they appear. Zartan arrives and with the blowing of a whistle causes the creatures to morph into huge monsters.  Zartan uses the monsters and his Dreadnoks to take over the Space base and force the Joes to do his bidding.

Back down on earth Shipwreck and Snake Eyes have made their way inside of the Cobra base. They find a secret subway that runs under Enterprise City's normal one. In an attempt to blend in the two Joes knockout a pair of Cobra soldiers and take their uniforms. As they journey deeper into the base we learn just what Cobra's endgame is. Cobra Commander is planning to use the space station in accompaniment with four control cubes to create what he calls the "Pyramid of Darkness". The pyramid would cover a large portion of the earth and stop all forms of electrical energy from working. To ensure this outcome Zartan contacts the Joe HQ and uses their response as a targeting beacon. He fires on them and destroys the base.

With the base destroyed, the space station under Cobra control, and no word from Shipwreck and Snake Eyes things look bleak. Shipwreck and Snake Eyes are not doing any better. They fail a voice recognition test and are trapped. The episode ends with the two Joes about to be killed.

Quote of the Episode.

From Polly (Shipwreck's Parrot).

"I'm a parrot not a duck."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Flint and Lady Jaye have an air chase with Destro. They end up flying through the skies of Enterprise city. They fly their jets in-between buildings at high speeds.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

In past episodes I have seen a number of Joes travel with their animal partners in their vehicles. It even happens in this episode. Shipwreck and Snake Eyes have their parrot and wolf, respectively, in their submarines. Mutt takes this idea to a whole new level. He has his dog, Junkyard, by his side on a space shuttle.

Episode 2
Rendezvous In The City Of The Dead.

When the last episode ended we saw Ship Wreck and Snake Eyes on the verge of a slicy dicy death. This episode picks right up from there. They are saved by Polly who is able to mimic a voice that the voice recognition device recognizes. The two Joes enter a Cobra work area and tag one of the Cubes with a locator beacon. They are stopped and asked about their animal partners. Ship Wreck convinces the Cobra Officer that the Polly and Timber belong to Destro. The two Joes steal information on Cobra's plan and begin their escape. The make it to the surface but find themselves in the slums of Enterprise City which is under Cobra Control

Back on the Space Station the Joes are being used as slave labor and are under heavy guard. Dusty and Mutt decide to try to send a message to earth. To do this Dusty turns on the gravity and makes a run for it. He makes his way to the control room but is caught before he can send out his message. Undeterred. Dusty is able to connect communication lines so that G.I.Joe will be able to eavesdrop on Cobra’s communiques. They put this to use immediately by sending out forces to the other cube destinations.

Since Joe HQ is damaged Flint has established a temporary base on a Aircraft Carrier out at sea. While speaking to the ship’s Captain, who has a problem with Lady Jaye being on his boat, they pick up Shipwrecks beacon. They use the beacon to predict Destro's destination and head out to cut him off. The Joes arrive before Destro has finished setting up the cube. Flint and Lady Jaye fail to stop the first cube and end up quickly sinking into some kind of pink gunk. Which is where the episode ends.

Quote of the Episode.

From Shipwreck.

"Great we just went from the sewer up to the toilet."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

An underground railway chase leads to a very cool Snake Eyes moment. Snake Eyes jumps from the handcar grabs onto a post flips around it and lands back on the cart. The scene is helped by very smooth animation and good pacing.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

During the handcar chase Shipwreck has to take his hands of the pump and asks Timber to take over for him. Timber, in case you forgot, is a wolf. That image is just so ridiculous.

Episode 3
Three Cubes in Darkness.

We start this episode picking up from the previous cliff hanger. Lady Jaye uses one of her javelins to save herself and Flint. They rejoin the fight and are able to fight Destro and his forces off but the day is not won. The cube has it's own defenses and holds the Joes off long enough to activate.

In the slums of Enterprise city Shipwreck and Snake Eyes have taken shelter in a night club. They are followed by undercover Cobra soldiers and have nowhere to run. Until the club's singer offers them help. She sneaks them into her dressing room and hides them in a secret area. The Cobra soldiers arrive but are scared off by the woman. With them gone she offers to help Snake Eyes and Ship Wreck get out of the slums. This may involve Snakes Eyes in drag. I can't wait.

Anyway, at the City of the Dead Tomax and Xamot are installing another one of the cubes. Roadblock, Footloose, and Airtight are also there. The Joes unwittingly set off centuries old booby traps. The numerous statutes in the city come to life and attack the Joe and Cobra Forces alike. Roadblock and the Joes are able to fight them off and capture Tomax but are unable to prevent the cube from activating.

In the arctic Alpine and Bazooka are making there way to Major Bludd and the third cube. Alpine causes an avalanche to slow the Cobra forces down. The two Joes use the opportunity to set up a pincer attack. Alpine and Bazooka attempt to attack from behind but slip and fall down a snowdrift. Bazooka is injured and Alpine has to carry him on his back. They get lost and end up on a piece of ice that is floating out to sea. To make matters worse they are about to be attacked by killer Leopard Seals.

Quote of the Episode.

From Alpine.

"Avante. Adelante. And Go Man Go!"

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Roadblock uses a giant stone ball in the "City of the Dead" to rollover a group of skeletons like they were bowling pins.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

Snake eyes break dances. I could put this into context but why? Would anything I say make Snake Eyes break dancing any less out of place. I will say this Timber not only watches this but does a little doggie dance behind him. I don't think there is anything else to say.

Episode 4
Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls.

As with previous episodes this one begins right where the previous episode's cliff hanger ending stopped. Alpine and Bazooka are on a ice float about to be attacked by Leopard Seals. The two Joes attempt to rock the float enough to make the seals fall off. Things are not looking good when all of the sudden a pair of nunchucks come flying by and hit the seals in their heads. The nunchucks were thrown by Quick Kick who comes to their rescue. He fights off Storm Shadow and the Cobra soldiers. With that done he pulls the ice float to shore. The three men are unable to prevent Major Bludd from activating his cube and with nothing they can do there they hitch a ride on a Cobra tank. They stowaway under the vehicle and end up at another hidden Cobra base. Once there they steal a jet and try to get back to the other Joes.

Back in Enterprise City Snake Eyes and Shipwreck have disguised themselves as a dancing girl and sax player respectively. They are able to break out of the city thanks to Satin, the club singer from before. She drives them out of the town and returns to Enterprise City. As she is driving off Shipwreck asks her to come with them. She declines the offer because Cobra framed her father for a crime and she wants revenge. As she drives away Shipwreck watches sadly. It isn't until Snake Eyes reminds him of the disk they have that he snaps out of it.

Roadblock, Footloose, and Airtight make it back to the Aircraft Carrier with their prisoner. Once on the Aircraft Carrier Tomax attempts to escape. He is recaptured but the event allows Xamot to use their psychic link to locate his brother. He learns that he is very close to the destination of the fourth cube. He asks Cobra Commander to help him retrieve his brother and hold off on turning the pyramid on until they are safely out of range. Cobra Commander agrees but plans on betraying him. He sends Destro and the Baroness out to the Sea of Lost Souls with the last cube. The Joes learn the destination and make their way there as well. Once again they are too late and the last cube is activated. With that the Pyramid of Darkness is online and all electrical energy is stopped. On the Aircraft Carrier Xamot has rescued Tomax and reveals that he knew of Cobra Commander betrayal. In fact the twins had been planning a betrayal of their own. With that they fire a flair into the sky.

On the space station the Dreadnoks see the flair and take over the space station. They take Zartan hostage and take control of the Fatal Fluffies. The twins arrive back at the Cobra base and tell Cobra Commander they are in control. He disagrees and contacts the space station. In stead of Zartan he is greeted by the Dreadnoks and realizes the situation very quickly. He tries to align himself with the twins.

From there we go back to Quick Kick, Alpine, and Bazooka on the stolen jet. A group of cobra soldiers make their presence known and attack the Joes. The jet is thrown out of control during the fight and the episode ends with the plane about to crash.

Quote of the Episode.

From Cobra Commander. I have to set the scene for this one. Cobra Commander is in front of a camera ready to speak to the world. When he says the following.

"I wonder if I should begin with my back to the camera and then turn suddenly or will a simple close up be more dramatic?"

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Quick Kick and Storm Shadow battle it out on the snow. Quick Kick get the best of Storm Shadow knocking him unconscious.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

While escaping from Enterprise City Snake Eyes and Shipwreck have to disguise themselves. Normally the sight of Snake Eyes in a wig and a dress would be too much to pass up. However seeing Polly and Timber in disguises makes anything else seem almost normal.

Episode 5
Knotting Cobra's Coils.

The episode starts with Alpine, Quick Kick, and Bazooka about to crash. The Joes advert the crash but are then fired upon by a Cobra Helicopter. Quick Kick points out that the jet is carrying Cobra Trouble Bubbles and the three men use them to escape the rapidly falling plane. Knowing that they can only go so far in the Trouble Bubble they hijack the copter that shot the jet down and set course to Joe HQ.

Speaking of Joe HQ. With the Pyramid of Darkness online the Joes are experiencing a full black out. Power is restored for a  few minutes as Tomax and Xamot make their demands. As the Joes ponder what to do they hear an odd sound. Gung Ho tells the other Joes to prepare for unexpected company. It turns out the sound is coming from Snake Eyes and Shipwreck who have finally made it back to base. Shipwreck shows the other Joes the laser disk they got from Cobra, but with the power out there isn't much they can do with it.

Meanwhile on the space station Mutt has an idea. He knows the Fatal Fluffies are controlled by the whistle that was around Zartan’s neck and is currently hanging from the neck of one of the Dreadnoks. Mutt sends Junkyard to fetch it. Junkyard does just that and with the whistle in his hands Mutt turns the Fatal Fluffies back into their original harmless form. Which means the Joes are no longer out numbered. They quickly take back the space station and shut down the Pyramid of Darkness.

Back on earth power is restored and Shipwreck can view the contents of the laser disk. He contacts Flint and together they find out that the cubes have a self destruct function. The only problem is that it can only be activated at Cobra Temple and no one knows where that is.

Cobra Commander, using the loss of the space station to his advantage, has taken back control of Cobra. He contacts Destro and Baroness, who are seen making out, and orders them to establish a low altitude Pyramid of Darkness. Tomax and Xamot suggest that Cobra Commander increase security around the Temple but are shot down.

Alpine, Quick Kick, and Bazooka are caught in the new Pyramid and end up crashing right into Joe HQ. The three Joes survive and tell the others that they know where Cobra Temple is. The new Pyramid is weak and unstable which allows the Joes to contact Flint and organize a full scale attack on the Cobra Temple.

The attack starts off a little rocky but thanks the combined Yodeling prowess of Alpine, Quick Kick, and Bazooka the Joe are able to break into the Cobra Temple and hit the self destruct switch. With the cubes destroyed the Pyramid of Darkness is no more.

During the battle Tomax, Xamot, and Cobra Commander escape and head for Enterprise city. Tomax and Xamot have a surprise waiting for the Joes and Cobra Commander. It turns out that the two building they occupy are not just buildings. No, they are in fact a huge battle rocket and launch gantry. Now the Joes have to keep the immense rocket from taking off. Shipwreck and Snake Eyes get into the rocket with the help of Satin. The three of them destroy the rocket's controls and escape before it takes off. With no control over the rocket it is left vulnerable to the Joe Space Station which destroys it. Cobra Commander, Tomax, and Xamot escape before the rocket blows up. While this is happening Zartan and the Dreadnoks also escape. The episode and mini series ends with Shipwreck asking Satin out on a date while Flint does the same with Lady Jaye.

Quote of the Episode.

From Gung Ho.

"Ah, stick your head in a bucket and rust your face off!"

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Quick Kick, Alpine, and Bazooka perform a mid air hijacking by going from their plane to a Cobra helicopter by way of Trouble Bubble.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

When Shipwreck and Snake Eyes finally arrive at Joe HQ they are, for some reason, riding cows. Now they say it is because the Pyramid of Darkness has rendered all normal forms of transportation useless but I have to ask why they didn't just use bicycles? Or horses? Anything other than cows.

It is obvious that this mini series follows the standard formula we've seen in the two previous ones. Thankfully there is just enough of a difference that this one is still enjoyable. The animation is still decent and the voice acting is just the right combination of serious and campy. I also have to mention that the song Satin sings in episode two is actually pretty good. I found myself smiling more than I would have thought. Although that may be do the bat shit insane moments this show has. Whatever the reason I enjoyed watching this and am looking forward to the next five episodes.

Know Your Joe.
Shipwreck

The character of Shipwreck was originally created for the Sunbow series. He eventually appeared in the Marvel comic and became a mainstay of the series.  While the character would appear in the later series he was never uses as much as in the original cartoon. He was originally voiced by Neil Ross and more recently by Carlos Alazraqui. The character would go on to have 15 figures released through he years.

Cobra's Most Wanted.
Tomax and Xamot

The Crimson twins, as they are known,  were also created for the cartoon originally. The would also appear in the Marvel series. The twins have appeared in most of the comic series and TV shows. The major exception of that being the DiC-produced third season. The characters were original voiced by Corey Burton (Tomax) and Michael Bell (Xamot) and later by Stephen Stanton who voices both twins in the current series. So far the twins have had 6 figures.

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