Media Monday.

This week I'll be looking at episode 51-55 of G.I.Joe, which is the end of the first season. We have everything from Rock Music, to Cossacks, to a Hammer Horror style episode, and what I consider to be best episode of G.I.Joe I have seen yet. But before we get to that I just want to say that I will be taking next Monday off so that I can get a jump on Season 2. Now that that is out of the way let's get to the main event.

G.I.Joe Episode 51
Cold Slither.

Episode 51 begins with Major Bludd directing Cobra troopers as they unload a few trucks. He mentions that what is in those trucks is supposed to finance Cobra for the next fiscal year.

As they continue to unload the trucks the Joes arrive. There is a small battle that ends quickly. As the Joes secure the Cobra troopers and the goods, Firefly and Major Bludd make their escape.

At Extensive Enterprises we learn that Cobra Commander is now broke. All of his men are applying for unemployment and his creditors are demanding payment on all of his outstanding debts. The Crimson Twins tell him that he has 48 hours to come up with $200,000,000.

Later at the Joe HQ a bunch of Joes are watching a football game. It is interrupted by Cobra Commander who makes an announcement. He speaks to the Joes and tells them that he is still in business. Duke enters and tells the Joes that they have a good chance of shutting Cobra down for good.

This leads to the Joes infiltrating a Cobra Fortress. They find it completely empty except for Tomax and Xamot who are showing potential buyers around. The Joes learn that Cobra Commander has gone missing.

That night Firefly leads Cobra Commander into a Billiard Hall. Once there they meet a loan shark who has made a deal to loan Cobra Commander $1,000,000. Part of the deal is that the loan shark gets to see Cobra Commander's face. When he tries to collect he is met with a surprise. The Commander's mask is electrified. While that is going on Firefly slips away and cuts lights. In the darkness he and Cobra Commander slip through a hidden hatch into a hovercraft that is piloted by Destro and the Baroness.

Firefly pilots the vehicle into the swamps so that the four of them can meet up with Zartan. As always Destro is not pleased with his involvement. Cobra uses the money he has just procured to rehire Zartan and the Dreadnoks. He needs them for his new plan codenamed "Cold Slither". Destro has created a program that creates Rock music and inserts subliminal messages into it. Why Destro did this I have no fucking clue. The endgame of the plan is that Cobra will use the music to control the masses.

Zartan and the Dreadnoks, who are working for $5 an hour, are turned into a rock band called Cold Slither. All they have to do is lip-sync and mime along to a  pre-recorded track. Insert Milli Vanilli or Britney Spears joke here. We go on to see the music video for the song being filmed. The director goes off the rails as Zartan and the Dreadnoks start to destroy their instrument. He attempts to stop this only for Cobra Commander to kick him in the ass.

The song becomes a huge hit which leads to the Crimson Twins cancelling Cobra Commander's debt in exchange for a share in the profits. The song's hypnotic effect is displayed in a high school. In one moment the halls are filled with students in the next they are completely gone.

At Joe HQ the members of G.I.Joe find themselves with a lot free time on their hands. Most of the Joes are enjoying the leisure time outside while indoors Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker are listening to Cold Slither. They fall under the influence of the music and leave the base to attend the Cold Slither Concert. As they leave they blow through a MP security stop. Shipwreck even threatens to kill the men if they attempt to stop them.

When Duke, who is not aware of what Cold Slither is, finds out that the men are AWOL he sends the MPs to arrest them. Duke goes as far to say that he plans to court martial the three.

The MPs find Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker at the concert but fall under the influence of the song as well. Also at the concert are Cobra Commander, Destro, and The Baroness. Destro tells the Commander to turn off the subliminal message and talk directly to the people. He turns it off but allows the Baroness to command the concert goers. She has them bow and swear allegiance to Cobra.

Cobra Commander, now certain of his control, make another announcement. He demands a ransom for his mind-controlled prisoners. If he is not payed 100 billion dollars he will continue to hold them hostage. He goes on to explain that the venue is surrounded by Cobra troopers so as to prevent any direct action from G.I.Joe. Duke and the other Joes see the announcement. Duke states that Cobra has lulled them into complacency and is now beating them. Lady Jaye says she has a plan.

Back at the concert Zartan and the Dreadnoks have grown tired of working. They walk off demanding more pay. This doesn't bother Cobra Commander since they were nothing more than window dressing. Zartan and the Dreadnoks head to their dressing room where they are met by three groupies. These woman are actually Cover Girl, Scarlett, and Lady Jaye. I have to mention that while Cover Girl and Scarlett are in disguise, Lady Jaye hasn't even bothered to put on a wig. I assume she was just hoping that the Dreadnoks would be as stupid as they were.

With the Dreadnoks taken care of the three head for the control area. When they arrive they reveal that they have been wearing earplugs which prevented them from being mind-controlled. After a short skirmish Cobra Commander, Destro, and the Baroness escape.

The episode ends with a number of the Joes putting on a show for the concert goers. They suck.

This was not a good episode. In fact it was bad. Which is a shame. The idea of Cobra running out of money is an interesting one. It deserved better than this. The pacing was off, the animation sloppy, and the story was just silly. To make matters worse it wasn't good silly. I will admit, however, that the Cold Slither song isn't completely without it's charm. It has that cheezy 80's cartoon sound to it. I don't hate it. The rest of the episode is sub par at best. This is one to skip. 

Quote of the Episode.

From Cobra Commander.

"The only union they should be concerned with is the one between their heads and their shoulders."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

With Cobra Commander broke and missing, Tomax and Xamot foreclose on him. The Crimson Twins are businessmen first and foremost.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

I was going to put the image of Cobra Troopers lining up for unemployment here but something else took it's place. The song Zartan and the Dreadnoks perform is pretty bad but it's like Mozart compared to the horrible rock version of the G.I.Joe theme that the Average Joe Band performs.

G.I.Joe Episode 52
The Great Alaskan Land Rush.

Episode 52 begins with G.I.Joe transporting some American relics. Among them being the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

They are of course attacked by Cobra. The Baroness leads a group of Tele-Vipers in the attack. With the Joes under fire the Baroness and the Tele-Vipers hijack one of the trucks. It happens to be the truck Duke and Scarlett were driving and are currently taking cover under. As the truck drives away the two of them hold on to the undercarriage.

They climb to the top of the truck and attempt to regain control. The Baroness is able to shake them. Duke and Scarlett, after falling in a fountain, say that their truck was the only one not carrying anything valuable.

At Extensive Enterprises the Baroness hands a document to Tomax and Xamot. The twins ask if the document, which is identified as the Seward file, has the special previsions as stated. The baroness tells them yes and adds that Potenkin wasn't lying. Potenkin then enters and introduces himself. He is a used car salesman from New Jersey who wants to make a deal with Cobra. He also appears to be Russian.

The Crimson Twins and Potenkin then move to Alaska. Once there they barge into the Governors office. Potenkin tells the Governor that he is fired. According to the Seward file Alaska belongs to whoever has the Seal of Alaska, which Potenkin reveals to be in his possession.

Potenkin then makes an announcement telling the people of Alaska that they are being evicted. The funny thing is this is done like a used car commercial. It may be the most entertaining mass eviction ever.

At the Joe HQ Scarlett states that there is no legal way to retake Alaska. I call bullshit. Anyway she goes on to explain the purchase of Alaska to both Gung Ho and the viewer. The most important aspect being that to make the deal official the seal of Alaska had to be taken to America aboard a ship named the Romanov. The ship never made it. It was lost somewhere in the arctic. She goes on to say that Potenkin claims his family fled Russia in 1917 with the seal. Which brings about a question. Potenkin doesn't look to be much older than mid 50s. Which would mean he was born and raised in America. So why does he have a Russian accent?

Duke believes that Potenkin is lying about the seal. Considering he sold used cars for a living that should go without saying. He plans to find the Romanov and the real seal so as to take Alaska back.

In Russia the Oktober Guard now called Red Oktober are given a similar mission. They are sent to retrieve the seal so that Russia can take Alaska back.

The Joes head out to find the seal in a cargo plane. Somewhere over Alaska they are attacked by a fleet of Rattlers lead by the Baroness. They are shot down but make a safe landing.

The Baroness contacts the Crimson Twins to inform them of the Joes arrival. She goes on to tell them that the Joes are no longer an issue. Potenkin asks if that means they are safe. Tomax and Xamot warn him that if the Joes are after the seal then Red Oktober won't be far behind.

Later the Joes head out to the last known location of the Romanov. Red Oktober is not far behind them.

The next day Red Oktober attacks the Joes, burying their vehicles in snow and leaving them on-foot. Brekhov tells the Joes they have a long walk home ahead of them. Duke agrees that it is a long walk but they won't be going home.

Over the next few days the Joe's cover a lot of ground. Eventually the make it to the Red Oktober camp. Duke plans on stealing one of their copters. As they enter the camp they notice that it appears to be empty. The Joes take a closer look and see that the camp is indeed empty. Oddly enough Red Oktober seems to have left their weapons.

This mystery is quickly solved when the Joes are attacked by Cossacks on horse back. The Joes are taken prisoner and led to a secret city. They learn that the Romanov was lost but not sunk. The ship found a safe harbor and the crew made a new life for themselves led by the Captain. They cut themselves off from society and lived a peaceful life.

The leader of the city, who is descended from the ship's captain, tells Duke and the Joes that he and his people want nothing to do with the outside world. Duke tells him what is at stake and asks for the seal. He is refused and the Joes are placed in a cell in the Romanov with Red Oktober.

As the Joes and Red Oktober try to work out their differences Cobra attacks. Duke states that they must have followed both of them. During the attack the Baroness finds and takes the true seal.

In the face of the destruction of his city the Captain's descendant, whose name I have no idea how to spell, joins with the Joes and Cobra to retrieve the seal. Duke tells him that if he helps them then the Joes will return the seal after they use it and help rebuild the city on their return. Brekhov agrees to do same as well.

With that the three forces combine and attack cobra. During the battle they retrieve the seal and send Cobra packing.

Duke uses the Romanov to take the seal to Juno. During their voyage Red Oktober attempts to betray the Joes but is distracted by Cobra Rattlers. The Rattlers are soon faced with Sky Strikers and retreat. With that Duke reattains the Seal and Potenkin is out of business.

The episode ends with Potenkin being faced with bills for his expensive purchases and no way to pay them.

The previous episode was bad. This one was worse. It didn't have as many technical issues, there where a few, but the real issue is that it was boring. The pacing was off and the story bland. I don't watch G.I.Joe for Potenkin, I watch it for Cobra Commander. Without a fun villain the show just drags. This is another one to pass over.

Quote of the Episode.

From Gung Ho.

"When I get my hands on those Red Oktober wackos, I'll make them wish Karl Marx was Groucho's brother!"

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

How's this for awesome. Cossacks with Laser guns. After Cobra gets the seal the Joes, Red Oktober, and descendants of the Romanov's crew band together to fight. This leads to the aforementioned Cossacks with Laser guns.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

I'm not really up to date on my geography but I'm pretty sure there isn't a volcanic wasteland in Alaska. Maybe I'm wrong, but I really doubt it. I almost chose the one moment when Gung Ho's voice came out of Roadblock but this was more confusing.

G.I.Joe Episode 53
Skeletons In the closet.

Episode 53 begins with Destro, the Baroness, and a blonde female Cobra Trooper running from a battle. As the Baroness gripes about Cobra Commander Destro and the female trooper share a moment. The Baroness sees this and is not happy.

Sometime later Destro is in the middle of an unsuccessful arms deal when G.I.Joe arrives. Destro makes a run for it as they attempt to arrest his potential customers. When they show the Joes their diplomatic immunity the Joes turn their attention back to Destro.

Destro heads to the sewers with Road Block and Gung Ho close behind. When Flint and Lady Jaye arrive from the other side of the tunnel it appears that Destro is caught, but he is given an escape route from above. A manhole cover is removed and a rope lowered down for him. When Destro makes it to street level he is greeted by an unknown woman. She introduces herself as Coverta Fatale. Which is probably the best name for a shadowy female operative ever. Destro mentions that he had always thought she was nothing more than a myth as the two climb into her car and speed off.

At an undisclosed location Destro and Coverta are getting to know each other. As the two speak Coverta warns Destro that she is known to bring bad luck to men. He dismisses this. She asks about the Baroness and Destro refers to her in an unflattering way. Coverta asks to see Destro's face but he refuses. He tells her that he wears the mask because centuries ago an ancestor of his was convicted of witch craft and forced to wear a mask for the rest of his live. Ever since Destro's family has vowed to fight law and order and wear masks. If this was anyone other than Destro, I would call this stupid. He goes on to tell her that he and his relatives meet on the winter solstice to renew their vow each year.

Meanwhile at Joe HQ Flint is not pleased about how the mission went. Roadblock tries to cheer him up by reminding him that they at least confiscated Destro weapons. Flint remarks that he wouldn't wish that junk on Cobra. Alpine enters and hands out mail to the Joes. Gung Ho is apparently behind on his car payments, Roadblock got some love mail, and Lady Jaye received a letter under her real name from a solicitor named Nichols. Which is another example of the whole 'Joe secret identity' thing being thrown under the bus. Lady Jaye's letter informs her that she is the last living descendant of Dame Agatha Doyle. The letter goes on to ask Lady Jaye to travel to Scotland so that she can lay claim to Doyle manor. Lady Jaye says that the timing is perfect since she is on vacation the following week. She asks Flint if he would like to come along. He tells her that it sounds fishy but that he may go the week after.

In Scotland Lady Jaye is taken to the manner by Solicitor Nichols. She thanks him for all the help and he tells her it was no trouble. As he walks away he laughs suspiciously. Lady Jaye wanders around the house until she comes upon two pictures. One appears to be of a man in a mask and the other looks very similar to her. As she is looking at them a woman appears and startles her. The woman introduces herself as the housekeeper. No name, just the housekeeper. Lady Jaye tells the woman that she startled her. The housekeeper warns Lady Jaye that Doyle Manor is not a house for the timid. Lady Jaye jokes about the house being haunted. The Housekeeper tells her that some say it is. She goes on to warn Lady Jaye not to enter the North Chamber because it is cursed.

In the nearby town a stranger walks into the local tavern. He asks about the local solicitor only to find out that the town does not have one. The man, who is obviously Flint, asks about the manor house. The locals warn him to stay away from it because it is evil but point it out to him nonetheless.

Back in the manor house Lady Jaye lets her curiosity get the better of her. She enters the North Chamber. The room is filled with execution machines and torture devices. As she looks around she is shocked by the sight of a ghost. I have to mention that in a the episode "The Phantom Brigade" the Joes fought alongside ghosts and as such their existence should not surprise her but as continuity has no bearing on this show she freaks out. Scared by the sight of the ghost lady Jaye runs from the room only to be confronted by the housekeeper.

Somewhere below the manor house the stranger watches as a group of masked individuals enter a cave. In the house Lady Jaye makes an entry into a journal. She notes that today is the winter solstice and that it is just a few days to Christmas. As she writes about how spooked she is she hears a noise. Having been pushed to far she grabs a javelin to investigate. I have to mention that she keeps her javelins in a golf bag. I assume she chose that because she's in Scotland. She walks down a hallway and sees another ghost. Lady Jaye assures herself that it is just her imagination and follows it through a door. The door leads to a staircase which takes her down below the manor house. She comes upon a row of skeletons and unknowingly sets off a booby-trap. The trap consists of another skeleton that grabs and holds her while a giant purple snake is released at her feet. She escapes the trap and continues forward.

Eventually she comes upon the masked men from earlier. They are standing above what they refer to as the "Cauldron of Chaos". They go about renewing their pact of chaos with a Lovecraftian creature below. One of the masked men finds Lady Jaye and captures her. Another of the men tells him to 'deliver her onto the pit'.

Meanwhile the stranger has snuck into the manor house above. He is spotted by the housekeeper. She, in a surprising scene, attacks the man and shows off some very impressive moves. The two have an entertaining fight before the woman makes her escape.

Back down below Lady Jaye is being lowered into the pit as a sacrifice for the creature. As that is happening another masked man arrives. He stops the sacrifice and begins to ask Lady Jaye questions. She is less than forthcoming until the man reveals himself as Destro. Lady Jaye tells Destro that she inherited the house which Destro does not believe since it is his ancestral home. Lady Jaye suggests that they may have a common ancestor. Destro finds the idea distasteful and disbelieves her.

As Destro continues to question Lady Jaye the stranger, who is still obviously Flint, arrives and saves her. First he takes out the men who were lowering her into the pit and then frees her from the chain suspending her over the pit. Together they fight off Destro and his family and make a run for it. When far enough away the man removes her bindings and reveals himself to be Flint. I did not see that coming. While the two continue to run Flint radios the Joes and calls for back up.

With Destro and his family closing in the two Joes keep on the move. During the chase Flint loses his gun leaving the pair unarmed.

Above a group of Joes including Spirit and Snake Eyes, who are equipped with gliders, jump from a plane. They are seen by Cobra troopers who have Trouble Bubbles. The two forces collide. The Joes appear to have the upper hand at first.

Down below Flint and Lady Jaye find a room they can take refuge in. They are shocked when they learn that the room is home to a giant spider. To make matters worse the masked men are right outside and trying to get in. The door does not stop them and it is only a matter of time before they get through. Flint grabs one of the men's weapons and attacks the spider. He is thrown into it's web as the door finally gives way. The masked men enter but run off when they catch sight of the beast but not before sending Lady Jaye into it's web as well.

Back above Firefly and Barbecue engage in some aerial combat. Firefly fires missiles at Barbecue but misses. The missiles end up hitting the rock face below the manor house and ends up killing the spider as well as freeing Flint and Lady Jaye.

The Joe and Cobra forces both enter the manor house. They resume their battle but now indoors. During the fight Barbecue locates a holographic projector that was used to create the ghosts form earlier. He uses it to send Firefly and Cobra Troopers running. With Cobra sent packing Flint and Lady Jaye arrive to call for the retreat since the manor house is now aflame.

Sometime later Destro and Coverta are outside the remains of the house. He tells Coverta that she truly does bring bad luck. She laughs as this and tells him that everything that happened occurred because she wanted it to. As she does this she reveals herself to be the Baroness in disguise. She set up the entire thing as revenge against Destro for his wandering eye. He asks if he and Lady Jaye being related was also a lie only to learn that it was the truth. The episode ends with Destro telling the Baroness that he hopes she never learns what horrors her actions may have caused as the Lovecraftian beast appears from the pit below.

I really enjoyed this episode. It had a "Wicker Man", Hammer Horror feel to it. The story was good, the setting creepy, the pacing on point, and the animation was good. I liked that Lady Jaye didn't really play the damsel at distress. Considering how outnumbered she was any Joe would have ended up in the same situation. Also when she was freed she more than pulled her own weight. It showed that she may be a female Joe but she is no lesser than her male counterparts. Although we have never seen the female Joes be anything other than completely competent it really stood out here. I guess that the setting of this episode and the fact that she was in a nightgown most of the time made me really take note of and appreciate it. This is another one I highly recommend.

Quote of the Episode.

From Spirit and Barbecue.

Spirit - "This house is filled with a deep evil.'

Barbecue - "It just got deeper."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

This entire episode was just the Baroness getting revenge against Destro for cheating on her, with herself in a disguise, and dismissing their relationship. She revealed that Destro is related to Lady Jaye, destroyed his ancestral home, and potentially released a eldritch abomination upon the world. As they say "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned", and if that woman is the Baroness then buddy you are fucked. And yet I still have a thing for her.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

Look at that thing. It looks like it should be in a Lovecraft novel not in G.I.Joe. Whatever the fuck it is, Destro and his family have been sacrificing people to it. That is pretty heavy for a kids show.

G.I.Joe Episode 54
There's No Place Like Springfield. Part 1

Episode 54 begins with Shipwreck and Lady Jaye, who are in a Shark, landing on a beach. As always Shipwreck is accompaniment by Polly. As the two head further inland, to search for a man named Prof. Mullaney,  Lady Jaye tells Shipwreck to keep the noise down because the island could be full of Cobra troopers. Before long the Professor stumbles upon the two Joes. He is in pretty rough shape.

The three sit around a small fire while the Professor takes in some much needed food. As he is eating he tells the Joes that Cobra had kidnapped him to work on a new secret weapon. The weapon is a formula that can weaken the bond between hydrogen and oxygen thereby turning any body of water into a bomb. He goes on to say that Cobra has all of the ingredients needed to complete the formula except for one. Lady Jaye asks where Cobra is keeping the ingredients. The Professor tells her that they are being held at someplace called Temple Alpha. Shipwreck chimes in and states that Temple Alpha is Cobra's central HQ and that the Joes have not yet been able to locate it.

Lady Jaye asks the Professor where the missing ingredient is. He replies that it is in his mind. Only he knows what it is. As Lady Jaye tells him that they will be getting him out of there. The Professor begins to speak but then goes quiet as he pulls a small device from his coat and lunges at Shipwreck. The professor places the device on Shipwreck's head causing him to loss consciousness for a few seconds. Lady Jaye removes the device and questions the Professor. He tells her that now Shipwreck knows the last ingredient as well. Shipwrecks asks why he can't recall it. Prof. Mullaney explains that the information can only be retrieved with the use of a code word, which the professor then whispers into Lady Jaye's ear.

After that Lady Jaye states that it is time to leave but the Professor warns her that he hears something. That something turns out to be Cobra Firebats. The three attempt to run from the planes but Prof Mullaney is not strong enough. Lady Jaye helps him to his feet and supports him as they continue on their way. Eventually Shipwreck helps her with the professor but that is short lived as the group is separated by a missile. Lady Jaye and Shipwreck rejoin but Professor Mullaney is nowhere to be seen. The two Joes make the decision to leave him and head to their Shark.

When they reach the vehicle they are still under heavy fire. Luckily Lady Jaye is able to take off and lead the following Cobra ships right into the firing sights of the USS Flagg. With the Flagg covering them Lady Jaye lands the Shark in the water. She climbs up a rope lowered by Roadblock but Shipwreck is trapped in the Shark as it begins to sink. As Shipwreck goes under Lady Jaye calls Torpedo to gather a rescue team, but before that can happen a Sky Striker aboard the USS Flagg is hit and explodes.

Shipwreck awakens in a hospital some time later. He speaks to a nurse and asks her "Who won?". She tells him that he lost, she goes on to say that he had fallen off a ladder and was hit by his satellite dish. The nurse tells Shipwreck, who she refers to as Mr. Delgado, that he gave them all a bad scare. She goes on to say that his family, who is there, were scared as well.

Before I go on I have to get something off my chest. This is just getting annoying now. I know I keep going on about continuity but I can't help it. This is the perfect example of this series just ignoring it's own history. We saw in the two parter "Captives of Cobra" that Shipwreck has an extended family yet in this episode he states that "Uncle Al" is his only family. This bugs me to no end.

Anyway the nurse tells Shipwreck that his wife and daughter are there to see him. Shipwreck is of course shocked by this. When Mara from the episode "Memories of Mara" and a little girl, named Althea, claiming to be his daughter enter, it confuses him even more.

Shipwreck exclaims that the last time he saw Mara she was still unable to breath air and that he has never seen the girl. Shipwreck hops out of the bed and stumbles towards a mirror where he sees that his hair is now grey. He finally asks about lady Jaye and the Flagg only to find out that the Flagg sank 6 years ago.

Mara explains to Shipwreck that when he was stuck in the Shark the Flagg was sunk by Cobra. After which the Joes assumed he had perished. They were wrong. Shipwreck escaped from the Shark and washed up on a beach. He built a crude raft and crossed the pacific ocean on it. Eventually he made it to Hawaii where he got transport to Joe HQ. When he arrived he was treated like a hero even receiving a medal. Then using the information from Professor Mullaney the Joes located Temple Alpha and attacked. Shipwreck single handedly captured Cobra Commander and became the hero of the battle. With that Cobra was destroyed. Mara goes on to say that before the Joes disbanded Doc cured her.

After her story is over Doc enters. Mara asks if Shipwreck can go him. He tells her that while he does have amnesia he is in perfect physical health. As such he can return home. In fact doing so may help him retrieve his memory.

When Shipwreck arrives home he is greeted by Polly. A short while later Scarlett arrives. Mara and Althea join her for some shopping, leaving Shipwreck to get some rest.

With the house empty Shipwreck settles in for a nap. Once he dozes off Polly arrives and turns on a lamp. The lamp's light begins to pulsate while making an odd noise. Shipwreck awakens and falls off the couch in pain.

All of the sudden an ambulance arrives. Doc and two medics exit the ambulance and place Shipwreck upon a gurney. The load him into the ambulance and take him to a car wash. While going through the car wash a secret passage opens that leads to a huge underground area. The ambulance pulls up to a door that has "Operating Theater" written on it. Shipwreck is taken through the door where he is greeted by Cobra Commander. The Commander threatens Shipwreck with a gun but as it fires Shipwreck awakens back at home. He finds that he had been asleep for hours. As he and his 'family' leave the room Polly flies into it and turns the lamp off.

After dinner Shipwreck tucks Althea into bed. It is obvious that he has feelings for the little girl even though he does not remember her. He joins Mara on the couch and confesses to her that he never thought he was the type of man to settle down but now he believes that it may have been what he always wanted. Mara tells him that the way he is speaking makes it sound like he is scared someone will take all of this away from him. Shipwreck tells her that is exactly how he feels. with the conversation finished Mara heads too the bedroom. As she leaves she tells Shipwreck that a good night's rest and going to work the next day will help his memory.

As Shipwreck sits on the couch alone sipping coffee he falls to the floor in pain again. He sees himself being taken to the operating room and being question by Cobra Commander, Destro, the Baroness, Tomax, and Xamot. They ask him about Professor Mullaney

The next day Shipwreck arrives at work. He finds that he owns a marina with Deep Six and Torpedo. Torpedo tells Shipwreck that Flint will be arriving soon to sign some papers. A few moments later Flint appears with a beautiful young woman on his arm. He mentions the papers and states that they have to do with a yacht. Shipwreck asks who the woman is and mentions Lady Jaye. Flint takes this badly and knocks Shipwreck down telling him that the deal is off and that he will buy his yacht someplace else.

As Torpedo helps Shipwreck up he asks what Flint's problem is. Torpedo tells Shipwreck that ever since Lady Jaye died when the USS Flagg sank Flint can't bare to hear her name.

Later while walking aimlessly Shipwreck is joined by Polly. The bird asks Shipwreck to talk. Before he can he notices the car wash from his 'dreams' and sees Roadblock drive into it.

Shipwreck runs to the other side of the car wash to catch Roadblock. When he looks into the car he sees Roadblock melt into a bluish mass. Shipwreck screams for help. The car wash workers arrive but instead of helping him they knock him out and call the cops.

Sometime later Shipwreck is being held in the local police station. An officer arrives and tells him that his wife is on the way. He offers Shipwreck a tuna sandwich while he waits. Shipwreck accepts and takes a bite. Something in the sandwich knocks him out. He falls to the floor of the cell and secret panel opens sending him down further.

He lands in a dark pit surrounded by Flint, Scarlett, Deep Six, and Torpedo the first two now being in their uniforms. The Joes attack Shipwreck and as he fights each one off they too melt into that bluish mass. Finally he is left with Scarlett. Shipwreck begs her not to make him fight her but she does anyway. After she dissolves Shipwreck watches in horror as the four separated blobs join into one giant blob. The episode ends with Shipwreck screaming as the mass engulfs him.

This was an amazing episode. The voice work and visuals were fantastic. Shipwreck's voice actor did a hell of job conveying the confusion and fear the character felt. Since this is a two parter I have to hold judgement off until the second part but things are looking pretty damn good so far.

Quote of the Episode.

From Roadblock

"Here's a gourmet dish for you. I call it Firebat stew."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Near the end of this episode there is a really well done scene in which Shipwreck is faced with the image of his fellow Joes melting into unrecognizable blobs. The voice work here is really well done. As Shipwreck screams you can really fell the fear, disgust, and turmoil in his voice. I might even go so far as to say it is a powerful scene.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

The episode begins with Shipwreck and Lady Jaye infiltrating an island that may be full of Cobra soldiers. As such they try to remain as stealthy as possible. For some reason Shipwreck brings along Polly. Polly, his parrot, is not only very talkative but incredibly loud. That is just what you want on a black op a brightly colored noisy target.

G.I.Joe Episode 55
There's No Place Like Spring Field. Part 2

Episode 55 begins with a short recap of Part 1 after which we jump right back into the action. The show left off with Shipwreck being pulled into a giant blue mass that was made up of the remains of Scarlett, Flint, Torpedo, and Deep Six.

The mass, with Shipwreck in it's center, moves down a passageway and entered the sewers below Springfield. Eventually the mass left the sewers and deposited Shipwreck in his own backyard before returning to underground.

Seconds later Shipwreck awakens screaming. Mara and Althea come to see what is the matter. As they help him up Shipwreck tells Mara to call Doc so that he can go back to the hospital. While Mara calls the hospital and comforts Althea, Polly teases Shipwreck.

When Polly is done with that he flies to the Hospital to inform Doc that Shipwreck is on his way. After which Doc sends Polly away to make his report. We watch as the bird flies to the Car Wash and enters the secret area. He flies to an office and reports to Cobra Commander. The Commander asks about Shipwreck's mental health. Polly informs him that his mental health is going down hill fast. To further illustrate his point Polly hits a button on a console which turns on a nearby monitor. The monitor shows a live feed from the hospital.

At the hospital Mara is asking Doc if something serious is wrong with Shipwreck. Doc ushers her away while assuring her that there is nothing to worry about. Once she is gone Doc and a few orderlies take Shipwreck down to an interrogation room.

As Doc is about to turn on a machine Tomax and Xamot enter. They tell him that a cadet will be handling the interrogation. The twins feel that it is essential to her training. As she enters Doc asks if she has ever done this before. She tells him that she has done simulations. He warns her that the real thing is more demanding.

The cadet turns on the machine which fills with the room with odd flashes of light. She then walks up to Shipwreck and begins to speak to him. The cadet takes him on a journey through his memory. From his child hood, to joining the Navy, his first meeting with the Joes (Hey look continuity), and finally his interaction with Mullaney. At that point she asks about what the Professor had told him. Shipwreck does not answer so the twins tell her to increase the power to the machine.

With the power increased she pushes Shipwreck harder. He is obviously in distress but does not answer. Tomax and Xamot tell the cadet to increase the power to maximum. Upon hearing this Doc tells the twins to stop. He warns them that using the machine at full power could drive the woman insane and damage Shipwreck. After hearing his reservations, and concluding that by having opinions of his own he is defective, the twins cause him to melt like the other Joes.

Back in the room the cadet turns the machine up to full power and continues to interrogate Shipwreck. As the room fills with ghostly visions she finally gets something out of him. He informs her that he cannot tell them what Mullaney told him until he hears a code word. When the cadet asks for the code word he tells her that only the Professor and Lady Jaye know it and as far as he knows she is dead. After hearing this the cadet succumbs to the device and faints. The twins enter to check on both Shipwreck and the cadet.

As they are doing that Cobra Commander appears on a monitor in the room. He berates the two for not realizing that Mullaney would take such a precaution. The Commander goes on to say that Shipwreck is useless to them with out the code word. Tomax and Xamot do not agree. They tell Cobra Commander that all they need is the codeword and they have a plan for retrieving it. They finish the conversation by recommending Cobra Commander continue to search for Mullaney.

After speaking to the twins Cobra Commander contacts the Baroness who is leading a fleet of Rattlers and Cobra troopers in a search for Mullaney. She tells the Commander that they have yet to locate him and that he may not have survived. With nothing but bad news Cobra Commander sends Polly, or as he refers to him Agent P9, to meet up with Shipwreck.

Shipwreck has been returned to the hospital where he is being kept sedated. As he lies in a hospital bed a computer recites the complete unabridged Oxford Dictionary. This is Tomax and Xamot's plan. Cobra Commander is less than impressed. When they notice that Shipwreck is beginning to stir the twins order for another sedative to be delivered to him. After which they accompany Cobra Commander to the lab to see if Destro has made any progress.

In the hospital Shipwreck awakens and stumbles to the bathroom. As Shipwreck tries to pull himself together he splashes some water on his face. To his surprise doing so causes his hair to turn back to his normal color. He uses more water and sees that he was not actually grey. The realization leads him to question whether Lady Jaye is actually dead. As this is happening Agent P9 continues to question him.

When Shipwreck hears someone coming he gets back into the bed and plays sick. A nurse enters with his a glass of milk for him. He almost drinks it but instead attempts to force it on the nurse. As he is doing that Agent P9 attacks him.

Outside the hospital the real Polly arrives. He enters through an open window and attacks Agent P9. After a short Parrot fight Polly uses a small device to melt Agent P9. With the fake parrot out of the way Shipwreck finishes giving the milk to the nurse who quickly passes out.

Shipwreck finally figures out that Cobra is behind everything. As he gets dressed he pieces everything together. Cobra had rescued him from the Shark while the Joes were busy saving the USS Flagg. Polly saw this and followed them. Everything since then has been faked to get the secret formula out of him. Finally Shipwreck comes to the conclusion that Mara is also a part of this. Now that he knows he can trust no one he questions Polly to make sure he isn't another duplicate. Polly passes the test and the two are off.

They leave the hospital and head right for the car wash. Shipwreck enters the lower level and learns a few important facts. Firstly the duplicates are improved Synthoids (More Continuity), secondly he is on Temple Alpha, and finally Temple Alpha is on an Island that is located close to the island he met Mullaney on. Knowing this he goes in search of the formula. While searching he sets off an alarm and gets in a chase with a group of Crimson Guardsmen. He is able to outrun them and locates the lab that holds the Secret Formula code named Hot Water.

With the formula in hand all Shipwreck needs to destroy Temple Alpha is the code word. It turns out that Polly also hear the Code word, which is "Frogs in Winter". He says it and releases the hidden info in Shipwrecks head. Now knowing what the last ingredient is he finishes the formula just as Cobra Commander, Destro, Tomax, Xamot, Zartan, and the Dreadnoks arrive. Shipwreck finds himself vastly outnumbered. Cobra Commander demands he hand over the formula. Instead Shipwreck pours it down the drain and lights a match. He holds the match over the drain and tells them to back off.

Destro tells Shipwreck that the only way to set off the formula is with an explosive detonation. Shipwreck calls his bluff and drops the match. Nothing happens. Cobra commander orders the Dreadnoks to fire on him. Shipwreck jumps out of the way causing the Dreadnoks to hit the sink. This results in an explosion that sets the formula off. With Hot Water in effect Springfield begins to erupt in explosions.

Nearby Flint and lady Jaye see this aboard the USS Flagg. Flint has Lady Jaye scramble a fleet of Sky Strikers. During the commotion Shipwreck and Polly escape from the underground facility. Seeing the destruction around him Shipwreck runs 'home' to check on Mara and Althea. He runs into the house only to see his wife and daughter armed and waiting for him. As he backs away in distress at their betrayal Polly uses the device from earlier to melt them.

Shipwreck and Polly leave the house and meet up with Flint and Lady Jaye. As Shipwreck looks back at his home Lady Jaye asks if anything important was inside. Shipwreck tells her that it was nothing important just a dream or two. The episode and the first season end there.

Wow. Just fucking wow. This was great. If you want to know just how good this show can be watch these two episodes. Everything was perfect. The animation, the plot, the story, the voice work, the feel, the setting, the pace, it was all spot on. I have said before that every Shipwreck episode is good and this one is the best. I can't recommend this two parter enough. You have to see it. It is the pinnacle of G.I.Joe. I really doubt it will get better than this.

Quote of the Episode.

From the real Polly to the fake Polly.

"Take that ya Phoney-baloney."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

The interrogation scene in the beginning of the episode is just perfect. Not only is it visually interesting, the voice work is perfect. In fact the visuals and dialogue add up to create a very heavy atmosphere. This may be the single best scene in the entire season.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

So Cobra goes through the trouble of creating perfect replicas of the Joes and Mara in the hopes of tricking Shipwreck but they don't dye his hair. They put some water soluble color in his hair, which washes out the first time Shipwreck washes his hair. Considering Cobra set him up with a job at a marina this is just bad planning.


This was a really good week. While "Cold Slither" and "The Great Alaskan Land Rush" were nothing to write home about Skeletons In the Closet was a great moody episode. And "There's No Place like Spring Field" Part 1 and Part 2 were just about perfect. I can't really hate on the lesser episode this week because the last three were so good. I have really come to appreciate this show.