I was off line for most of last week. That is something that will probably happen every month. Nothing I can do about it. But I plan on catching up with all of the wrestling I missed. So this post is every thing from the last week of January. Including the much anticipated return of Lucha Underground.


                             
                    
Normally I'd start with Raw, but fuck that. Let's talk about Lucha Underground.

I have been waiting with bated breath for the return of Lucha Underground. It is, without a doubt, the best wrestling on TV. It has the best production values, the best characters, the best stories, the best atmosphere, the best audience, and the best action. It is the, you guessed it, best.

Last season ended with Ultima Lucha and a cliff hanger. We, Lucha Underground fans, were left wondering for months if the show would even return. When we got word that it was, the excitement was overwhelming. Now months later it's HERE!

So for those who haven't seen Lucha Underground (What's wrong with you?) let me give you a bit of a primer.

First watch the video above. Saw it? Good. That’s everything you need to know story wise.

Let‘s talk about the style of the show itself. Lucha Underground is a show about wrestling. It doesn't take place in the real world. It's a world where the supernatural is real. As such it is easier to take what is happening seriously. Even the wrestlers who are performing under their 'real' names are playing characters.

Some people may be turned off by the nontraditional approach. They are stupid. This show is everything we want from wrestling.

So knowing how much I love this show (I really fucking do) and how excited I was for the return, did it live up to expectations?

Yes. Yes it did.

The show starts out with a vignette getting us caught up on one of the story lines from last season.

Vampiro is in a Psychiatric Facility after his 'psychotic break'. He is released and is picked up by his commentary partner Matt Striker. The two head back to Boyle Heights and the Temple.

At the Temple, which is now under the power of Catrina and Mil Muertes (I love Mil sitting in his throne overlooking the ring like an evil God-king), Phoenix has arrived. Since he won the Gift of the Gods title he has the right to challenge Mil for the Lucha Underground Title. He gets his shot next week if he can defend the title against King Cuerno.

That is the first match of the night and it was pretty good. Phoenix works a very 'spot' heavy style that, while impressive, can be a little over the top. A lot of people talk about in ring Psychology. By that I mean the 'why' behind the move. As in "Why did he do a flip?".

The thing is, if you take this show on face value which is a thing you should do for not only this show but all wrestling, than Lucha Libre is a fighting style, like Kung Fu. And as with Kung Fu, or the way it has been presented in movies, there are times when style goes over substance.

Why did he flip? Because that is how he was taught to fight.

Just imagine Lucha Libre being like Capoeira. That should make things easier.

Some people are unwilling to let themselves just go with it. So they wouldn't like what Phoenix and King Cuerno do.

Cuerno isn't as 'spot' heavy as Phoenix. He is more mat based but he does fly when he has to.

Knowing that it should come as no surpise that this match has a lot of 'spots'. Phoenix flies around and Cuerno stays mostly grounded.

The match, as I said was pretty good, the ending was a shock. I assumed Phoenix, who has a win over Mil from last year (The Grave consequences match was outstanding.), would be the first man to face Mil. Instead King Cuerno got the win and the title.

Next up was a triple threat match between Son of Havoc, Ivelisse, and Angelico. These three had one of the best story arcs last season. Havoc and Ivelisse's break up and rivalry with Angelico led to three of them forming a highly dysfunctional team. Eventually the three won the Trio Titles and began working together like a real team. That is until the Disciple of Death took them out. Fast forward to this episode and the three of them are forced to fight for a number one contenders spot.

This was another good match. The multiple pin attempts at the start were a lot of fun. Seeing Ivelisse kick ass and eat a huge knee from Angelico was refreshing.

Ivelisse won the match after showing she can run with the guys. This led to her facing Mil.

WWE has problems 'making' people. They aren't able to give people the rub. Lucha Underground doesn't have that problem. They made Ivelisse in this episode. Not only did she hang with Havoc and Angelico but she had a good outing against Mil.

Mil was in control for much of the match but there were a few moments when Ivelisse looked like she could actually win. She is now a contender for any title in the Temple. She can't be overlooked.

After the match, Mil did win in the end, Catrina ordered Mil to attack Ivelisse. He was stopped by a returning Prince Puma.

Puma made the save and had an intense stare down with Mil. That is Until Pentagon Jr. came out and attacked Mil. Pentagon Jr. was the breakout star from last season. That is obvious from his appearances on American Indies and in Europe.

He took Mil down and 'broke' his arm.

I was shocked by that. I didn't think they would allow Mil to look weak so early in the season. But it makes sense. After the way the last season ended he need to look vulnerable. Otherwise he would come off too powerful.

The show ended with the appearance of Dario Cueto.

If you have watched Telanovela you may have noticed that the director on that show is played by Luis Fernandez-Gil, the man who plays Cueto.

So that was Lucha Underground. I can't wait for next week's episode. It's just as good as it was last season.

This is the time for those who are new to the Temple to jump aboard. If you love wrestling then watch the show.  Hell, if you love monster movies, action movies, Kung Fu movies, cheesy 70’s movies, Robert Rodriquez movies, or good television watch the show. You are depriving yourself if you don't.

Monday Night Raw

Just a quick not. I write these reviews while watching the show. These are my immediate reactions. So  sometimes these recaps can read a little oddly.

I am almost 12 minutes into Raw (I'm not watching live so that doesn't count commercials) and can't take any more. I get the heel authority angle. It's a classic. But this is pushing it.

A.J. Styles debuted the night before this show, to a huge reaction, and he was disregarded here. The Authority go out of their way to say he is no better then any random member of the roster. 

Stephanie (You know my feelings toward her), with a straight face, say's that the outcome of the Rumble shocked everyone. It did not. HHH, entering at 30, was about as expected as anything.

The only surprise was Styles, and that was only because of the TNA mess that surfaced recently.

"We could care less how you are feeling." That is a direct quote from Vince McMahon to the audience. I know that is the character speaking but you know that's how Vince actually feels.

It's times like this I am glad I don't give this company any money.

Look, I need to watch something other than Raw for a while. I'm going to check out the WWE's new show "Ride Along" and then get back to this chore.

Quick review of Ride Along. It's like table for 3 but not as good. I like the idea of seeing wrestlers interact with each other in a relaxed environment. Table for 3 did that amazingly well. This show, at least this episode, suffered from trying to split it's attention in two places.

We got to see the New Day in one car and Dolph Ziggler/the Miz in another. As much as I like Dolph and the Miz I just wanted to see the New Day. The three of them have amazing chemistry. If the show had just focused on them it would have been better. Still a more fun watch than Raw. Speaking of which I better get back to that.

I'm going to skip talking about the opening Promo. I like myself too much to continue down that path.

The thing about Raw and the WWE itself, is that you go from shit like the opening promo right into Kevin Owens VS. Dolph Ziggler. The match itself was short and nothing to write home about but those guys are so good you can't help but want to watch them.

I know the IWC has turned on Dolph but I still like the guy.

The Social Outcast are one of the best things in the WWE at the moment. Mainly because of Heath Slater and Adam Rose. Rose calling Slater 'Red Dragon' caught my attention. reDRagon is my favorite tag team so I don't know about Heath Slater using that as a nick name.

Can we talk about Flo Rida for a sec? Well not him specifically but the WWE's need to showcase/leach off of B level Celebrities. What is that about? If you're going to suck up to a rapper, and Snoop Dogg not only appeared on the show but is related to a member of the roster, why not someone good? Or at least uber famous. I hate Pitbull but I would get the WWE doing something with him. Just a thought.

Some people think Chris Jericho isn't the wrestler he used to be. They dismiss him. His match against A.J. Styles proves them wrong. This was a good match. If they had longer and a build up it would have been great. Going by this encounter a match between the two of them at Mania would be a show stealer.

I really want Charlotte/Becky/Sasha at mania. It's the best way to go. Becky is too over not to be in the match.

Confused R-Truth is the best R-Truth.

The Rock segment was something else. I don't know if the Rock as a dick is something that's going to continue but I don't have a problem with it. The Lana bit wasn't cool though.

The meat of this segment was the dueling New Day/Rock promo. The New Day are stars. All three of them were able to stand up to the Rock on the mic. They  almost made the Rock crack. He was corpsing hard at parts. I'd say the New Day got over on the Rock here.

Kalisto and the Miz had an ok match. I only mention this because Kalisto needs clean wins and he got one here.

Main Event is Reigns & Ambrose VS. Rusev & Seamus. Reigns and Ambrose go over. They are entered into the main event of Fastlane in a triple threat match with Brock Lesnar.

Consensus is the Wyatts will take out Brock leading to Reigns spearing Ambrose for the win.

Seems about right.

Why is the authority so stupid? They could have chosen anyone for that match. Sure Reigns, as the former champion, should have been entitled to an automatic rematch. But that wasn't mentioned. Instead the Authority flat out say they can choose anyone they want. So they choose the guy they went out of their way to screw out of the title. The guy that has been shown to be able to beat HHH to a pulp.

In what world does this make sense?

Aside from the opening and ending this was an OK show. I'm still on the verge of quitting though. Next week is make or break.

What's the point of the recaps that start Smackdown? Who is watching Smackdown that didn't watch Raw? Even if you haven't seen Raw you can go to Youtube and catch the top ten moments from the show. Opening Smackdown with a recap is just stupid.

Normally I like multi man tags so I should have enjoyed the first match. On the one side you have the New Day and the Miz (two things that I really like) the problem was that the other side included the Uso's and Titus O’Neil. Dolph Ziggler was also there but I like him so I'm not including him in my bitching.

The Usos are just very bland to me. They are fine in the ring but when put against the New Day they appear to be bereft of personality. The thing is I remember seeing them on the old NXT, when Matt Striker was the GM/host, and they had personality. I don't know what happened. Titus O’Neil is the opposite. He has personality and charisma for days but he isn't great in the ring. It's impressive to see him throw people but that's all he has going for him.

That's why this match was just there. It wasn't bad but I didn't really care about it.

Kalisto and Neville is kind of a dream match for me. I love high flying, high speed wrestling and that is what these two do best. I liked how Neville really got to show off his strength against the smaller Kalisto. All in all a very good match.

AJ Styles wrestles with dry hair. That stands out to me. It's not unusual in New Japan but in the WWE it is. There are a few guys that don't look like they just stepped out of the shower but they are few and far between.

AJ face off against Curtis Axel. The match was short and ended with the Styles' Clash. AJ is a star. The fans have taken to him. As long as the WWE doesn't fuck this up, they'll have something great on their hands.

Charlotte faced Natayla in a very good match. It was the best Natayla match in a while. That's what happens when she gets to work with someone who isn't on Total Divas.

I just have to mention how stupid the Divas Title looks on Charlotte. The design of that belt has got to change. The women carrying that division deserve something with a little prestige. The butterfly isn't it.

I know I should be better than this, but I love the Goldust and R Truth bits. Goldust has such great comedic timing.

The main event was Reigns/Ambrose/Jericho vs the Wyatt Family. This is a rematch from a few months ago. Actually we've seen versions of this match dozens of times. I am very tired of Ambrose/Reigns going against the Wyatts. It's played out.

Having said that the match was fine. It ended in a DQ, Smackdown main events ending in DQ and No Contests is happening too much. After the match the Big Show came out. He helped the good guys clear the ring and stand tall.

That's all good but you know what really stood out to me about this Smackdown? No Kevin Owens. He was in the main event of Smackdown leading up to the Rumble but was nowhere to be found this week. I don't like that.

The show started with the newly minted American Alpha (Gable and Jordan) facing off against Blake and Murphy.

I like Blake and Murphy but they are the perfect example of why Managers are needed in wrestling. Alexa Bliss was a great boon to their team. The guys are more than competent in the ring and have shown flashes of personality, but they lack a gimmick or definable character. That is something that needs to change before they move to the main roster.

American Alpha should already be on the main roster. They are perfect. Jordan has the look, size, and skill while Gable is the whole package. Together they are money.

The match was quick but played to both team’s strengths. Gable showed off his technical skill, Jordan suplexed people, and Blake & Murphy used underhanded means to gain the upper hand. A simple but enjoyable tag match.

Do you know what the best thing about Nia Jax is? It's her music. I like her music, it's unique. Once the music hits it's all down hill from there.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not writing her off completely. It's just that I don't see a lot to her. She isn't very good in the ring (I know she is super green) and she doesn't excude power. With her look she needs to come off as a monster. She doesn't.

Awesome Kong pulled off the monster thing perfectly. It helped that she could go in the ring as well.

I think part of the problem is that Nia is too pretty to be scary. Her ring attire doesn't help either. It's too form fitting. She ends up looking soft instead of hard. And monsters are hard.

Enzo Amore is the best talker in NXT. By far. The guy is on the next level. I don't know how far he'll get as a wrestler on the main roster but he has bright future ahead of him as a manager.

Bull Dempsey lost a match to Alex Riley. I only mention this because I'm going to talk about Bull Dempsey in the news part of this post.

I spoke about Elias Sampson before. But the drifter thing still bugs me. He is being billed from Pittsburg Pennsylvania. How can he be billed from somewhere if he is a drifter? Is that where he was born? Doesn't knowing that kill his mystique? He is supposed to be sexy and mysterious. Being from Pennsylvania isn't sexy or mysterious. 

Main Event time. Sami Zayn vs. Somoa Joe vs. Baron Corbin for the number 1 contender's spot. Baron Corbin has done a lot to change my mind about him. He has improved greatly but was very much outshined here. Joe and Zayn are both amazing. This match would have been so much better had it just been those two going at it. Not to say that Corbin didn't contribute, he did, but he was more a prop then anything else.

The match was good, but the ending was better. Zayn had Corbin in the Sharpshooter when Joe rolled into the ring and put Corbin in to a Cross Face. Corbin tapped and we were left wondering who had won the match.

I've seen the double submission spot used a lot in multi man matches, but never used as a finish. This was a surprising ending that saved a rather bland episode of NXT.

Did you see the guy who put his hand out for Brian Fury but then pulled it away at the last second? That dude is a dick. First thought I had watching ROH this week.

Anyway, the hot prospect tournament started this week. With the aforementioned Brian Fury facing Shaheem Ali. I know nothing of either or these men. Apparently Brian Fury trained Sasha Banks and Donovan Dijak, good on him.

I wasn't all that impressed by Shaheem Ali. He was fine but I found his facials and vocalizations distracting. Brian Fury was ok. This match was just there. It didn't really grab me. I liked the ending. Brian Fury using his veteran experience to get a cheap win was good.

I talked about Cheeseburger not too long ago. I like him. The guy is actually OK in the ring and he get's so much sympathy. He, next to Rockstar Spud, is the best pure baby face in wrestling. He had a quick but fun match against Cedric Alexander. Alexander never looked like a huge guy to me, built sure, but never huge. Standing next to Cheeseburger he looked like the Ryback.

After the match, which ended with a devastating Lumbar Check, Alexander began a post match beat down on Cheeseburger. Jonathan Grisham, who beat Cedric in a surprise upset a few weeks ago, came out for the save.

This led to a match. The match, what little of it there was, was great. The post match beat down was better. Jonathan Grisham is now on my radar. The guy is good. I'm going to keep an eye out for him.

I'm looking forward to this feud continuing for a while.

Jay Lethal is my favorite wrestler at the moment. The man has everything, except possibly size, and is in a great position to show what he can do. It's a testament to ROH's talent pool that I can honestly say that my favorite wrestler is in the ring with two guys that can give him a run for his money.

Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly are going to face Jay Lethal in a triple threat match at the 14th Anniversary show in Vegas.

The segment where this was revealed ended with the announcement of a Cole/Lethal vs. reDRagon tag match. I'm looking forward to that.

Moose has the least impactful but most impressive spear in wrestling. The flip he does takes the impact out but adds a lot of flair.

The main even of this show was a Moose/Elgin/Jay Briscoe triple threat. All three of these guys are great. Moose continues to impress me and Elgin is just freakishly strong. Jay Briscoe is a star. He didn't do that much in this match but he knows how to pick his spots.

This was a great show. Only second to Lucha Underground.

The first thing on Impact this week is Jeff Hardy. He said a few things about Matt then told whoever was behind the camera that he had to go paint his face. Jeff Hardy has to paint his face just to talk to his brother. That's a thing that has to happen.

The promo was okay. Jeff has a habit of saying things over and over to get the audience to chant. I'll give him credit they usually do, but it comes of a little forced.

Reby Sky seems to be taking the spotlight in this angle. She is being shown as the mastermind, or at least the driving influence behind Matt’s turn.

The segment ended with the announcement that Matt and Jeff will have a match for the title.

The Feast or Fired match is just a mess of a match. Even if it wasn't chaotic by the sheer amount of competitors, it would still be a "Shit on a Pole" match. Those always suck.

On a side note Chavo Guerrero recently revealed that he was not told before hand that he would be getting the 'fired' briefcase and actually be fired.  Dick move on the part of TNA.

After the match we cut to a back stage segment. Jeff Hardy is fixing his face paint when Kurt Angle walks up. They talk. I don't care about their conversation, I'm still hung up on the face paint. Kurt is nonchalant about it. He's probably seen Jeff painting his face a thousand times. That shit is normal to him now. This shouldn't bother me but it does. It's not Ultimate Warrior or Road Warriors style face paint. It is so abstract. I can't take it seriously.

Every time I see him with the paint it's like a poke in the eye. I am instantly taken out of the show. It's a stupid thing to be bothered by but I can't help it.

The X division is in desperate need of some new blood. Every match is some combination of the same 4 guys, Tigre Uno, DJ Z, Mark Andrews, and Manik. There are so many great small guys on the indies. Imagine if the Division included Leo Rush, Speedball Mike Baily, Will Ospreay (Who worked the English dates), Shynron, and Andrew Everett. There are many more I'm forgetting. At the very least they've added Trevor Lee.

This match had Tigre Uno, DJ Z, and Andrews. The only thing I have to say is that Andrews did that stupid skateboard spot again.

I don't want to take away from the match. Those guys are going all out. They are killing themselves in those matches and I appreciate it.

Tigre Uno retained and Shane Helms came out. Is Tigre ‘Rey Mysterio’ tiny or is Helms huge? I said this before but how was he ever a cruiser weight?

I did a quick bit of research (Google). Helms is billed at 6' which means he is probably closer to 5'10. Tigre Uno is billed at 5'3. So Helms is either average or slightly above average height and Tigre Uno is actually ‘Rey Mysterio’ tiny.

After that we get a Doll House segment. Kong is hyping the girls up. I'll talk about Kong in the news section.

Eli Drake, who won one of the Feast or Fired brief cases, is shown backstage. Jessie Godderz shows up and the two talk about the possibility of Eli getting fired. Jessie tells him to open the case and see what's inside. I thought the cases were locked, but he just opens it. Has no one done that before? I haven't been watching TNA for very long but if the cases aren't locked why would anyone wait?

Matt Hardy is going bald. As a guy who is going through that same thing my heart goes out to him. Although he got to keep his hair a lot longer than I did.

Kong's version of the Doll House is a lot more enjoyable to me than Taryn Terrell's. 

I love the Wolves' music. It reminds of something that I can't put my finger on.

Last week The Wolves were attacked and their title belts were stolen by Crazy Steven and an unseen partner. This week it was revealed that the partner was Abyss. I like that combination. It makes sense.

I don't know about the woman who is with them. She had a great creepy look but lost her mystique when she started to talk. The only thing about this new team that I'm worried about is, who is the leader? I hope Abyss is leading this group. It would suck for him to go from James Storm's lackey to Crazy Steve's.

They revealed the contents to the Feast or Fired cases during this show. Eli Drake got a shot at the King of the Mountain Title, James Storm got a Tag Title shot, and Drew gets a chance at the World Title. That means that Grado is 'fired'. I hope he was told before hand, unlike some of the past 'winners'.

A lot of people hate Josh Matthews. I get it. After Grado was fired, and put on a pretty emotional performance, he said "It couldn't have happened to a better guy.". It was an oddly worded and badly delivered line. Josh is supposed to be a face. He should have shown a little sympathy. If Pope, who is heelish and has shown disdain for Grado, had said it that would be fine.

I don't know if Matthews just couldn't or didn't want to deliver the line with any actual emotion. Even if he did it was so awkwardly worded that I still wouldn’t be sure if he was being a dick. He didn't have a trace of emotion in his voice so I'm going with dick.

Kevin Kelly, hell even Michael Cole, would have delivered that line better. They have the ability to emote.

If the audience of this show is anything to go by than kids are drawn to Jeff Hardy. I guess the paint, gear, and high flying action pull them in.

This is a stupid question but who do you think is watching Matt's kid during the main event. He came out with his wife and Tyrus, who was carrying the kid earlier. I like to think it's Abyss and Eric Young. I imagine them having wacky adventures trying to keep the tiniest Hardy from harm.

The main event never happened. Instead Eric Young and Bram attacked Jeff.

A bunch of other stuff happened but none of it really mattered.

I usually do TNA last but it's not because it's the worst show of the week. Raw is almost always the worst show. Not because of the quality of the wrestling. It's all of the Authority bullshit and the insane run time.

Impact is an easy sit. Sure there are some stupid bits and the announcing is terrible (same can be said for Raw) but the show is short and the crowd is usually up. I'm not a huge TNA fan but I don't want to give the impression that I hate the show or the company.

Wait a second. Eric Young and Abyss came out for the main event. That means they couldn't be babysitting the tiniest Hardy. Ok. Give me a second. I'm going to imagine that Drew Galloway and Grado were babysitting. They can still have some wacky hijinks but it wouldn't be the same.

Maybe the Wolves were babysitting. I can imagine Davey Richards teaching the kid submission holds.

Or it could have be Eli Drake and Jessie Godderz. They would totally feed the kid protein shakes and 'supplements'.

One last one.

How about DJ Z and Robbie E. They can show the kid how to fist bump.

OOOHH!

I got it. Aiden O'Shea and Rockstar Spud. O'Shea would be smoking a cigar and being a dick while Spud ineptly tried to keep the kid entertained. Eventually the tiniest Hardy (I can't be bothered to look up the kid's name and I like typing the word 'tiniest‘) would somehow get into the Knockout's locker room leading to a huge misunderstanding that culminates with Kong knocking O'Shea out.

That last bit is actually a good transition to the news.

Awesome Kong was fired from TNA. Apparently she got into an altercation with Reby Sky. Kong threw Reby's bags out of the Knockout locker room and got physical with her. It's been reported that she chocked the woman in front of the tiniest Hardy. While that isn't cool, I like Kong and am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Reby looks like a bitch, not a very mature thing to say I know, and she probably did something to piss Kong off.

I don't think Kong will be going back to the WWE. She is 38 and has a reportedly bad back. Apparently it's why she pulled out of a show in Japan a little while ago. This was when she was rumored to be retiring.

If she doesn't go to the WWE, I expect her to be back in TNA in a few months. If they took Bram back, he attacked a woman, why wouldn’t they take her back.

Bull Dempsey is gone from NXT. He and four others were released this week. The other four are Marcus Louis, Sylvester Lefort and two guys that never made it to TV. Of the whole group Bull Dempsey was the one that had the most up side to me. He failed as a monster but had a lot of potential as either a Comedy Jobber or better yet a fun Baby Face. I hope to see him on the independents or maybe TNA. He could be a good fit there.

Bret Hart has been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. As a young kid my favorite wrestler was Hulk Hogan, like every kid. Then it became the Ultimate Warrior. I was a bit of a size queen as a kid. Eventually Bret Hart became my guy. I always wanted to be one of those kids that he gave those awesome sunglasses to.

To this day Bret is one of my all time favorites second only to Mick Foley. So hearing this really hurt me. I don't have anyone I would consider a hero. The only person remotely close to that would be my mother. But I wouldn't use that word to describe her.

Having said that if I did have a hero, it would either be Bret Hart or Stan Lee.

I read Hart's book, it's a great read by the way, and he was so honest in it that I couldn't help but feel a connection to him.

I sincerely wish him the best.

The last bit of sad news concerns former ECW wrestler Axl Rotton. He has passed away. I didn't watch a lot of ECW so I don't have much to say about the guy. I'm sorry for his passing and hope his family is well. It's always sad when a wrestler dies.

Let's talk about something happy. Jay Lethal, Kyle O'reily, and Bobby Fish have all re-signed with ROH. I can't express how much joy that brings me. Those three are doing great things in ROH and New Japan.

reDragon is my favorite tag team and I don't trust the WWE, even down in NXT, to not fuck them up. Jay Lethal is my favorite active wrestler and seeing him in NXT would be cool but the fear of the main roster would always be hanging over my head.

That's it for now. I'll be back in a few days with this week's stuff.