On a non-G.I.Joe related note my Mother, who I have spoken about before (in case you are interested she is still off the pills), cut her finger quite badly. She had to go the hospital and get 5 stitches. The Doctors were concerned that she may have cut some blood vessels and could lose the tip of her finger. The worst part of this is that I was there when she cut herself. I saw that she was holding the knife wrong and though about telling her but didn't. I feel somewhat responsible. Anyway onto the first official ongoing episodes of G.I.Joe. The more I watch this show the more I want to start collecting the figures. Considering how far they have come in quality and inexpensive they are it's hard not to.
G.I.Joe Episode 6
Countdown For Zartan
We have reached our first stand alone episode and it is a goodie. The episode begins with the Dreadnoks training three new Cobra recruits in how best to use their weapons. Storm Shadow is also there but the recruits are not sure if his lessons are worth their time. That is until he shows them how a ninja can be much more dangerous than any weapon.
Destro and Cobra Commander watch from on high. Destro once again voices his distrust of the Dreadnoks and Zartan due to their mercenary ways. When Cobra Commander leads Destro into the base he mentions that Zartan is more important to him than Destro. Destro questions this until he sees that there are two Cobra Commanders. The one he had been speaking two was in fact Zartan in disguise.
Cobra Commander tells Destro that he is going to use Zartan for an important mission. Destro is not pleased. The mission begins well as the Dreadnoks kidnap a French scientist and Zartan takes his place. He drives into the World Wide Defense Center, where a group of scientist have gathered to share information on terrorist groups like Cobra, and is met by Storm Shadow.
Once inside Zartan mingles with the other scientist. His impersonation, while convincing, leaves some doubt in the mind of Spirit. As Zartan excuses himself Spirit follows. Zartan meets up with Storm Shadow who hands him a bomb. As this is happening Spirit arrives and attempts to stop the two men. Storm Shadow engages Spirit in combat while Zartan runs to place the bomb. With the bomb in place he returns and hits Spirit from behind. This angers Storm Shadow who has so far shown himself to be an honorable combatant.
Storm Shadow takes Spirit, while Zartan attempts to flee. Lady Jaye, Recondo, Gung Ho, Stalker, and Doc, who are at G.I.Joe HQ, find out that something has gone wrong at the World Wide Defense Center. When they arrive they spot Zartan, still in his disguise, and apprehend him. Gung Ho notices that Zartan keeps looking at his digital watch. When that is combined with Zartan’s insistence that he be arrested and taken out of the Center, it is obvious that something is going on. The Joe's realize that there must be a bomb in the Center and begin to look for it but not before locking Zartan in a cell in the Center.
While that was happening Storm Shadow had taken Spirit to the Cobra base and placed him in a cell with the French scientist. They are being guarded by the Dreadnoks who decide to gas them to death. They use laughing gas to make Spirit and the scientist laugh themselves to death. Luckily Storm Shadow appears and stops this from going to far.
Back at the Center with time running out Zartan breaks and tells the Joe's where the bomb is. The Joes head to the location as Zartan screams that there isn't enough time. Zartan watches as time runs out on his watch, but there is no explosion. Gung Ho had altered the time on the countdown as a precaution. The Joes find the bomb with only a few seconds to spare.
At the Cobra HQ Cobra Commander does not take the failure well and sends his forces to destroy the Center. Tired of being a captive Spirit leads the scientist in an escape. He is almost caught by Storm Shadow but Freedom arrives and saves him. They escape in a Cobra jet and head for the Center.
With the bomb defused the Joes think all is well until they realize that Zartan has escaped. He leads the Joes through a chase but is caught in the end. Before the Joes can celebrate Cobra's forces arrive. Even though they are highly outnumbered the Joes fight on. Things start to look bad until Spirit arrives and turns the tables.
The battle culminates in a fun scene where the three recruits from earlier use the lesson taught to them by the Dreadnoks. In each instance the Joes still beat the troops and go on to beat the Dreadnoks themselves. With that the Cobra forces retreat and day is won.
Looking back a lot happened in this episode. It was packed with story and character moments. The animation is not as crisp as in the mini series but is still bright and fluid. I really enjoyed this episode. As stand alone stories go it was fun and relatively intriguing. Also the continued friendship/battle between Storm Shadow and Spirit is really well done. I never realized those two had so much screen time together. The voice work is, as always, top notch. If the show continues at this level I won't have much to complain about.
Quote of the Episode.
From Lady Jaye.
"This bit of fluff bites!'
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
In a display of Ninja awesomeness Storm Shadow destroys a tank by punching it a few times. The vibrations from his hits cause the tank to literally fall apart.
Spirit being in a bind and needing back up tells Freedom to contact the other Joes and bring them to him. Now this all seems perfectly fine until you remember that Freedom is an eagle. Now, I may not be an expert on raptor psychology, but I am pretty sure most birds of prey are not Lassie. What makes this even funnier is that when Lady Jaye sees Freedom she goes all "What's that Lassie? Timmy is stuck in the well?".
G.I.Joe Episode 7
Red Rocket's Glare.The seventh episode of the series is a simple one. It opens with a boy running through the jungle. He is carrying a small Cobra branded device and seems to be not only running to something, but running away from something as well. We soon learn just what the latter something is when Recondo and Roadblock appear. They along with Blowtorch and a whole Joe team are following the boy to a Cobra base.
At the base the boy makes his delivery. He hands the device over to Destro who refuses to pay the boy due to his being late. He allows the kid to live though in a moment of generosity. Destro heads to his lab certain of his safety.
Meanwhile the Joes have arrived at the base but have a small problem to deal with. The base is surrounded by a deep chasm that keeps unwanted visitors away. Until now that is. Tollbooth uses the Joes' Bridgelayer to create a path over the chasm.
Blowtorch makes it to Destro's lab but is unable to stop him from escaping. This failure upset Blowtorch but Roadblock assures him that the destruction of the Cobra base is a good day's work.
We then shift to Recondo and Roadblock on R&R. They are traveling along the coast and plan to stop at a restaurant owned by Roadblocks Aunt and Uncle.
When they arrive Roadblock is shocked to see that the restaurant is in fact a fast food franchise called Red Rocket. Not only that but it also happens to be empty. The reason for this being a banker gang, armed with high tech weapons, who are terrorizing their customers.
Roadblock is curious as to why bikers would want to scare off customers at a drive in and how they could be armed with Laser pistols.
The answer to both questions is, of course, Cobra. An answer easily reached when Cobra forces attack the restaurant themselves. After the attack the Joes do some digging and learn that the Red Rocket restaurants were originally owned by Extensive Enterprises. Itself owned by Tomax and Xamot. Now the twins are sending gangs of bikers out to push the owners of the franchises to their limits. This way they will be willing to sell the restaurants back to Extensive Enterprises.
Roadblock, Lady Jaye, and Flint visit the Extensive Enterprises headquarters and ask Tomax and Xamot about Cobra. The crimson twins are less than helpful. This leads to an after hours break in by Flint and Lady Jaye. It goes badly and the two Joes leave empty handed.
During their escape Cobra Commander appears on TV and makes an announcement. Cobra has 150 missiles, each armed with a Photon Disintegrator (the device Destro made at the beginning of the episode), all aimed at the capitols of every mayor nation on earth. The missiles are capable of literally wiping a city off the map.
Roadblock discovers the missiles locations, which were shown during Cobra Commanders announcement, match up with the locations of the Red Rocket restaurants. The rockets on top of the restaurants are not just decorations. No the are, in actuality, fully functioning and operational WMDs.
The rest of the episode is a montage of the Joes either destroying or disarming the missiles. It ends with Roadblock, at his Aunt's and Uncle's new restaurant, holding a BBQ for the Joes.
This was a quick watch and a fun episode. Although it doesn't really stand up. If you give the plot any thought it falls apart completely. Why would Cobra Commander advertise the locations of his weapons? Why would Tomax and Xamot even need to buy the restaurants back if all they needed to do was change the rockets on the roofs? For that matter why sell the franchises to begin with? All of that aside, if you can get past the paper thin plot (I can but I'm easily amused), the show was still entertaining. I have yet to see one of these that I would label as bad.
From Lady Jaye. In response to a question from Flint.
"Mostly, that a 1000 foot drop does nothing to help the digestion of Peking Duck."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
While trying to prevent a number of Cobra missiles from firing, Roadblock ends up riding one of the missiles as it launches. He's not alone as Tomax and Xamot followed him and are also on the missile. As cool as that is, it's what happens next that wins the "Awesome Moment of the Episode". Flint, seeing Roadblock on the missile, figures there is only one way to save him. He fires a smaller missile at the larger missile. The plan is to have the smaller missile remove the warhead of the larger one. Which means that Flint has to hit a target moving at incredible speed that is only a few feet above Roadblock’s head.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
This is a really simple one. There are purple scorpions in this episode. Now, these aren't genetically modified Cobra scorpions. No, they are just regular, every day, jungle scorpions. That are purple. That's just so out of place.
G.I.Joe Episode 8
Satellite Down.We start the episode with Breaker and Flint watching as their new satellite, which is in orbit, goes online. The satellite is also being watched by Cobra who are planning on taking control it. To stop this the Joes force the satellite down. It lands in Africa and is up for grabs.
In Africa Dusty and Spirit are sent to retrieve the satellite. When they arrive Storm Shadow is already on the scene. Storm Shadow is running from a burning cabin. Spirit confronts him but leaves when he hears someone inside the cabin call for help. Dusty tries to hold Storm Shadow but is no match for him.
The voice from the cabin belongs to a man named Macintosh. The man was part of an expedition years ago that went wrong. He was the only survivor and returned to live there like a hermit.
Spirit and Dusty who have been joined by Macintosh and Lady Jaye are behind Cobra but not out of the race. Macintosh tells the Joes that the Cobra forces will never get past the "Primords" a race of Ape Men that killed the other members of his expedition.
As they continue on their journey the Joes come across a fragile rope bridge. Flint is waiting for them. Dusty asks if the bridge is safe but before Flint can answer Lady Jaye begins to drive across it. She, Spirit, and Macintosh are still on the bridge when Cobra attacks. The bridge is destroyed and the three plummet into a river below. Flint is worried about Lady Jaye but there is nothing he can do.
Spirit, Macintosh, and Lady Jaye have not only survived the fall but are back on the trail after the satellite. It isn't long until they are attacked by Storm Shadow and the Cobra soldiers. During the battle the Primords arrive and capture everyone. Spirit tries to send Freedom for help but the bird is knocked out of the air and rendered unconscious.
Back with Flint, Tollboth and the Bridgelayer have arrived. With the bridge in place Flint, Dusty, and the other Joes can continue the search.
Spirit, Macintosh, Lady Jay, Storm Shadow, and the Cobra soldiers have been tied to stakes and are being prepared for sacrifice. The Primords have found the satellite and think of it as a god. An angry one at that. They choose Lady Jaye for their first sacrifice.
Flint, Dusty, and the Joes, who are back on the trail, come across the still unconscious Freedom. Dusty wakes the bird and asks him where Spirit is. In a funny scene, considering what we have seen in previous episodes, Flint tells Dusty that Freedom is just a bird. Freedom answers this by leading them to the Primord camp. Now, I'm not saying that Freedom's squawks sounded like "Fuck You Flint" but I'm not saying that they didn't either.
Back at the camp Lady Jaye is moments away from a nasty rock based death. She is saved by Freedom. Now free she releases Spirit and the other prisoners. The Joe and Cobra force band together to fight off their shared enemy. During the battle they are attacked by Primord children. Storm Shadow injures one of them which, considering they attacked first, seems perfectly fine to me. Lady Jaye and Spirit feel differently and that puts an end to their truce.
Storm Shadow uses a grenade to escape and causes a rockslide. Flint, Dusty, and the Joe troops arrive just in time to save Lady Jaye, Spirit, Macintosh and the Primord children. Lady Jaye personally saves the son of the Primord leader which means that the Joes and Ape Men are now friends.
The combined forces of the Joes and Primords are able to fight off Cobra. During the battle Spirit and Storm Shadow have yet another confrontation. It would appear that their mutual respect is waning. Cobra almost get's away with the satellite but Flint destroys it instead of letting it fall into the wrong hands.
With their mission accomplished, sort of, the Joes leave the Primords with a parting gift. Something to replace the satellite. The Primords now have their very own TV. Although it doesn't last long. All it takes is one annoying commercial for the Chief to destroy it.
All in all this was a fun albeit very silly episode. I never knew that Spirit and Storm Shadow had so many interactions. In the past couple of years, mainly thanks to the Devils Due G.I.Joe comic, Spirit has become on of my favorite Joes. So seeing him fight Storm Shadow and have this mutual warrior respect is awesome. Something else worth noting as that so far I have yet to see an episode of this show that I remember seeing as a kid. I guess the episodes I saw come later. I won't say that this was a good episode but I will say that it was fun.
Quote of the Episode.
We again have a double entry.
First from Dusty.
"Okay Stormy let's see your Kung Fool."
Second from Macintosh.
"I'm Macintosh Aye, but I'm no hermit. I just live in an out of the way neighborhood."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Storm Shadow is caught and is being held by Dusty who has his rifle aimed right at him. What is a Ninja to do? Well you take a shuriken throw it at the rifle and split the barrel like it was a piece of bamboo.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
I would say any part of this episode that has the Primords in it would qualify. If I had to choose one in particular then the sight and sounds of the Primords chanting "Yo Joe!" is the most insane moment.
G.I.Joe Episode 9
Cobra Stops the World.Before we get into the episode properly I have to mention that this is a Duke/Scarlett episode. We begin this episode with Cobra Commander making an announcement. He really seems to enjoy doing that. It would appear that Cobra has crippled the worlds oil production and transportation network. There by "Stopping the World". We are shown the destruction of off shore oil drilling stations, oil fields, the Alaskan pipeline, and the disappearance of oil tankers. The tankers have not actually disappeared. Cobra now has a cloaking device which they uses to hide the tankers.
The Joes are unable to track the Cobra transmission but have found a Cobra safe house. Duke sends Scarlett to the safe house to search for clues. He also sends Torpedo and Deep Six to a floating Cobra base.
Cobra Commander is once again claiming victory as Destro warns him that they have not yet won. In an odd scene Cobra Commander appears mildly competent which even Destro has to comment on.
At sea Torpedo and Deep Six are attacking the floating Cobra Base. The two Joes are not use to each other but work together well enough to destroy the base.
Meanwhile Duke and Ace are flying above a jungle searching for clues. Ace asks why they would be looking for Oil Tankers in the jungle to which Duke replies that the jungle produces oil and diamonds. Both of which Cobra needs. Oil for obvious reasons and the diamonds to power their cloaking device.
As soon as Duke finishes saying this they are attacked by a squadron of Cobra Rattlers. This leads to a dog fight that ends with most of the Rattlers downed and Duke and Ace having to bail from their jet. They land in a river and make their way to shore only to be met by Major Bludd and a group of natives.
Scarlett, meanwhile, has found the Cobra safe house. She breaks in and disarms all of the soldiers therein. Unfortunately the occupants of the of safe house know nothing.
Cobra Commander makes another announcement. He tells the world that he is tired of the nations of the world wasting his time. To show how serious he is, he destroys one of the tankers and says that he will destroy another one in an hour. This may be his downfall. Because at the Joe HQ Sparks thinks he may have a way to find Cobra. He has been working on a way to track remote signals. If he can complete his device within the hour then he can track Cobra.
Duke and Ace are captured and marched through the jungle to a snake pit. Major Bludd intends to throw them to their deaths but is unsuccessful. Duke and Ace escape and find the natives' village. Cobra has turned the village into an airfield and diamond mine. The Joes separate with Ace stealing a Rattler so that he can contact the other Joes and Duke using another jet to cave in the entrance to the diamond mine. With that done Ace picks up Duke and the two escape.
The hour is up and Cobra Commander destroy another tanker. Sparks is able to track the signal and locates Cobra's secret base. Cobra Commander is about to destroy the remaining tankers when the Joe forces arrive. As always a battle ensues and the Joes come out on top. Duke comes close to capturing Cobra Commander and Destro but the two end up escaping.
The episode ends with Scarlett suggesting that Duke taker her out for a night on the town.
The animation for this episode was a little stiff. At points it felt like an old Hanna Barbera cartoon. You know the ones where the only thing that moves are the characters mouths. The story and voice work were able to cover for that. The voice acting on Torpedo is even better.
Quote of the Episode.
From Duke.
"Well quit "Patagonia-ing" yourself on the back."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
There is a great mid air chase between Duke and Ace and a group of Cobra Rattlers. The chase takes place in a narrow ravine and see Ace pull some impressing aerial maneuvers.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
Major Bludd informs Duke that Cobra has allied itself with a local tribe. This in and of itself is not out of the ordinary. What is weird is the name of the tribe. Major Bludd says the are the Yamomoma. This name, if it actually was what Major Bludd said, has a bit of history. It was the name of the Cannibal tribe featured in the movie Cannibal Holocaust. That movie is known for its graphic violence and sadistic treatment of animals. You can see a funny review, by Brad "Cinema Snob" Jones here. G.I.Joe and Cannibal Holocaust should not be in the same reality let alone in the same episode.
Jungle Trap.
The final episode of the day is another Duke outing. It starts with Duke, Scarlett, Rock N Roll, and Recondo in India. They are supposed to meet a scientist by the name of Dr. Shakur. Dr. Shakur has created a machine that can harness the power of molten lava.
As the Joes and Dr. Shakur move on we see that Zartan is watching. He is contacted by Cobra Commander and tells him that he has a surprise for the Joes.
There are Cobra soldiers hiding in wait for the Joes. They attack the Joes and are able to grab Shakur. The Joes, who are momentarily stunned, chase after Cobra. The Cobra soldiers are headed for the docks and have a good head start. As the Joes run through the streets they are shown a short cut by a stranger. Now let's forget for a second that this stranger sounds like Zartan, because he is Zartan, but why would some random stranger know where the Joes are headed. You can argue that they said where they were going but it's a busy street with a lot of noise. I think this is just the Joes being naive. But I digress.
The shortcut is, of course, a trap. With Cobra Hiss tanks at one end and the Dreadnoks at the other. Luckily for the Joes Snake Eyes, who I assume had been following the Joes by roof top, drops in to lend a hand. The Hiss tanks fire at the Joes but miss. The shots hit a wall and the debris covers the Dreadnoks. The Joes go through the hole in the wall and arrive at the docks just in time to see Shakur driven away on a Cobra boat.
Duke is worried because they have no idea where Cobra has taken Shakur but Recondo has a pretty good idea. He has heard rumors of a strange snake cult who have taken over an ancient temple on the river. Duke agrees with Recondo and the Joes decide to investigate. Since traveling by land will take too long they chose to go by air.
At the temple Zartan has arrived with Shakur. The scientist refuses to help Cobra Commander but has little choice when a mind control device is used on him. Cobra Commander puts Shakur to work on their own Vulcan machine.
As this is happening the Joes, in helicopters, are making good time towards the temple. Cobra Commander dispatches his own helicopters to stop the Joes. The copters carrying Duke, Scarlett, Recondo, Rock N Roll, and Snake Eyes are shot down and the other copters have to retreat. This leaves the 5 Joes on their own in the jungle.
Recondo, whose specialty is jungle survival, takes the lead. From where they are it will take 24 hours to reach the Cobra base. As Recondo leads the other Joes through the jungle they encounter trap after trap. The last of which involves a pack of hyenas. All of the Joes except for Duke get away. Snake Eyes goes back to save Duke. They are able to get a way from the creatures but are found by Copper Head and group of Cobra Soldiers on a boat.
The other Joes are able to perform a sneak attack on the boat and take it over. Duke, Scarlett, Recondo, and Rock n Roll disguise themselves as Cobra troops with Snake Eyes as their prisoner.
They get into the Cobra base and find Shakur. Cobra Commander threatens to use the Vulcan Machine if the Joes don't surrender. Duke scoffs at the idea and shoots at the machine. The other Joes follow suit. This causes the Vulcan Machine to activate and lava begins to spew up from the ground. which means that Duke is responsible for destroying a ancient temple that could be many centuries old, but considering the alternative I guess it is an acceptable lost.
The Joes and Shakur make it out safe and meet up with the other Joes (the ones whose helicopters were not shot down) to end the episode.
This was another good one. The animation was better than the previous episode. The writing was also tighter. That might be due to the episode being written by the great Paul Dini, who not only went on to write comics but some of the best American animated series of all time. These series include Tiny Toon Adventures, Batman: The Animated Series, Animaniacs, and Justice League Unlimited. That may be why this episode has a considerable lack of silly shit in it. This is one that I can fully recommend. Especially since Recondo is one of my favorite Joes.
Quote of the Episode.
From Recondo.
"Right where I should be. Cutting a path to get us out of this jungle."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Duke gets caught in a snare as the Joes are being chased by a pack of hyenas. Snake Eyes, who was on the opposite side of the river with the other Joes, swings back over and goes all ninja on the animals. That's right Snake Eyes kicks some hyena ass.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
Cobra has set up booby traps all through out the jungle. They range from motion sensing lasers, to trip wire activated blades, and pits filled with spikes. All of which are perfectly normal. One of the traps is not. Cobra has a rhino, in a cage, hidden in the jungle. Now I know that rhinos are easily spooked and very dangerous but why a rhino? Were they out of tigers? The sight of a rhino attacking the Joes is just ludicrous.
All in all these were pretty good episodes. Nothing amazing but also nothing terrible. Now before I get to the Know Your Joe and Cobra's Most Wanted I want to make something clear. These two little features are not meant to be in depth character bios/histories. It just a little bit of info (along with links to better resources) to wet your appetite.
Know Your Joe.
Spirit (Know known as Spirit Iron-Knife) was the original G.I.Joe tracker. He debuted in 1984 in the second G.I.Joe miniseries "The Revenge of Cobra". I mentioned earlier that I unaware of how much time Spirit shared with Storm Shadow. There is actually a reason for that. Snake Eyes didn't appear very much in the series, probably due to his being mute. As such Spirit was used as a foil for for Storm Shadow. The character of Spirit was originally voiced by Gregg Berger then Maurice LaMarche and most recently by Darren Dunstan. There have been 9 figures of Spirit released to date. A number of which come with his Freedom his eagle sidekick.
Cobra's Most Wanted.
Storm Shadow is an interesting character. He is one of the only characters to fight for both Cobra and G.I.Joe. He is also one of the most popular G.I.Joe characters along with Snake Eyes. Shifting loyalties aside Storm Shadow has always been shown to be an honorable and formidable warrior. Due to Storm Shadow's popularity he has been featured the majority of G.I.Joe series and in the recent movie. He was orignally voiced by Keone Young, then Scott McNeil, Ty Olsson, Tom Wayland, Eric Bauza, and Andrew Kishino. Lee Byung-Hun portrayed the character in the first movie and is reprising the role for the second. So far there have been 41 versions of the Storm Shadow figure.
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