Media Monday.

I skipped two weeks of Media Monday. I am sorry about that. But, I'm back so let's get to the next 5 episodes of G.I.Joe.

G.I.Joe Episode 26
The Gamemaster.

Episode 26 begins with two robots battling. As the camera pulls out we see that this in fact a high tech video game being played by the Gamesmaster and his robot sidekick.

The Gamesmaster announces that he is bored and wants to play a new game. He plans on using members of G.I.Joe and Cobra in his game.

We watch as he kidnaps Flint, Lady Jaye, the Baroness, and Cobra Commander for his game. He accomplishes this with the use of robots and traps. We see that he obviously has a vast amount of resources.

The episode then shifts to what appears to be a nursery. In this room there are giant cribs each holding one of the kidnapped individuals. After awakening the Gamesmaster informs them of his plan. The game has no rules and only one of them can win. The goal is to reach a one man helicopter that has been hidden on the island.Their protests are silenced by giant toy soldiers with real guns.

Now knowing the stakes the four have no choice but to play the game. They find themselves on a strange island with no idea where to go. Cobra Commander declares that they will go their own way. As such Flint and Lady Jaye go one way while Cobra Commander and the Baroness go another.

Meanwhile G.I.Joe and Cobra have realized that they have missing personnel and suspect each other of foul play. The Joes send Ace to investigate one base while sending an infiltration unit into another base.

Ace gets shot down and taken prisoner by Destro, while the infiltration unit captures Zartan. Destro questions Ace but soon learns that the Joes have also lost people. The two forces come to a truce and decide to work together.

Back on the island, Flint and Lady Jaye have realized that the island is made up of candy. As they investigate the weird agriculture Cobra Commander and the Baroness attack. During the fight Lady Jaye and Cobra Commander end up sinking into a lake of butterscotch. This leads to another truce.

While the four of them are uncertain of how they will escape they band together. It doesn't take long before their union is put to the test. They are attacked by a giant dinosaur robot and Cobra Commander is almost caught. Flint saves him but apparently dies in doing so. This leads to a nice scene where the Baroness comforts Lady Jaye.

Flint's body is quickly taken away to be buried. As he is being lowered into a grave he attacks his robotic pallbearers and forces them into the grave.

As that is happening Lady Jaye, the Baroness, and Cobra Commander find the helicopter. They fight over who gets to take it but are attacked by a giant lawn mower before any of them can fly away.

With the Lawnmower inching ever closer all seems lost until Flint finds the Gamesmaster and stops the device. He is able to contact the Joes who inform Cobra. With both forces baring down on the island the day seems won.

That is until the Gamesmaster wrestles control away from Flint and attacks the combined forces of G.I.Joe and Cobra. He uses every weapon at his disposal but is unable to fight them off. The two forces over power him and take the island.

With the day lost the Gamesmaster escapes vowing to return for another game. The episode ends with a funny scene between Cobra Commander and Duke.

This episode was much better than it had any right to be. The story was stupid and the character of the Gamesmaster made no sense and yet I enjoyed it. First of all the Baroness spends the entire episode in a bikini, which is nice, secondly we get a bunch of cool scenes between the Joe and Cobra forces. Such as when Zartan compliments Scarlett, and everyone gets a laugh out of Cobra Commander. I can't say that this is a good episode but it is a load of fun. If you want to watch something that will bring a smile to you face then give it a shot.

Quote of the Episode.

From Cobra Commander to Lady Jaye.

"Not caramel. Butterscotch."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

This episode was full of awesome Baroness moments. She spent the entire episode in a bikini kicking mass amounts of ass. The best part, however, was when she shot down Cobra Commander. He told Flint and Lady Jaye that he would escape and send his forces to save them. The Baroness replied that not even she would believe that. How can you not love her?

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

In the same way that the Baroness embodied the "Awesome Moment of the Episode" the Gamesmaster embodied the "Wait. What?" moment of the episode. The man is made of crazy. He is at least 10 feet tall, has an island made of candy, an army of robots, amazing technology, and acts like a child. None of him makes sense. And I think I love him because of that.

G.I.Joe Episode 27
Lasers In the Night.

The Episode begins at a college lecture. Two young women are attending the lecture. One, Amber, is highly interested in what the Professor is talking about, her friend is not. As the lecture ends we follow the two out onto the campus.



The seminar is being taught by Quick Kick. He asks for a volunteer from the audience and Amber jumps at the chance. The two spar for a bit and Quick Kick is impressed by Amber's skill.

With the seminar over Quick Kick asks Amber out on a date much to her surprise. We then go into a montage of the two going out over the course of the next month. It ends with Amber asking Quick Kick to help her get into G.I.Joe. Quick Kick is apprehensive.

From there we move to a jungle on Snake Island. We watch as Gung Ho, who is running through the jungle, is caught. At the local Cobra base Cobra Commander sends the Baroness to retrieve something for him.

We immediately cut to a Joe electronics lab on fire. Duke, Scarlett, Bazooka, and Lady Jaye arrive on the scene. While there Lady Jaye is knocked out by an unseen assailant. Bazooka finds her and the four Joes escape before the entire place goes up.

From outside of the lab the Joes spot a Cobra Rattler. Duke states that they were probably after the Laser guidance system but that it had already been moved to Joe H.Q.

Which is were we go to next. Lady Jaye is in the Infirmary surround by Duke, Scarlett, and Bazooka. Quick Kick Enters with flowers and wishes her well. Lady Jaye tells everyone that she is fine. The conversation is cut short when Duke is informed they have an intruder in the base.

The intruder who appears to be a woman is quickly caught and unmasked. It turns out to be Amber. For some reason she thought sneaking into the G.I.Joe base would help her make the Joe team. This is all kinds of stupid. Duke tells Quick Kick to give her a tour. I would have thrown her in a cell overnight, but that's just me.

As Quick Kick shows Amber around she continually sees or hears things she shouldn't. It gets to the point where Lady Jaye openly voices her distrust for the young woman.

We then take a quick detour to see that Cobra Commander has some how gotten the Joe security code. A code that we just watched someone tell Amber. Cobra Commander, using the security code, sends a fleet of Cobra Rattlers to attack the base.

As the base readies for the attack Breaker tells Duke that a Cobra spy must have learned the code. Duke scrambles the Sky Strikers but only one makes it off the ground. It is the one flown by Lady Jaye. With the other Sky Strikers out of commission she is on her own.

The Joes are helpless as they listen to Lady Jaye being shot out of the air and crashing into the sea. Duke calls the Joes together and tells them that not only was the security code compromised but the Laser guidance system has been stolen as well. It is obvious that they have been infiltrated by a Cobra Spy and states that the spy most be Amber. Quick Kick accepts this and goes to her sorority to find her. Once their he hears a message that Amber left for her roommate telling her that she has gone to Snake Island. Amber thinks, correctly I might add, that the Joes suspect her of being a spy. In a moment of astounding stupidity she decides that the only way to prove her innocence is to go to Snake Island and destroy the Cobra base herself.

On the island Amber sneaks into the Cobra base and is immediately caught. She is faced with Lady Jaye who turns out to be the Baroness in disguise. Big shocker that was. Anyway, Amber is thrown into a cell with the real Lady Jaye and Gung Ho. She uses the technique Quick Kick used at the beginning of the episode to break the chains holding the two Joes.

Speaking of Quick Kick he has just arrived on the island. He sneaks into the Cobra base and then runs around screaming Amber's name. He is quickly captured. It is now that we learn just what Cobra Commander's endgame was. He did all of this, spent millions of dollars, infiltrated the Joe HQ and endangered the Cobra base just so that he can pull a Chairface Chippendale. If you don't know what that means you should spend a few days watching the old Tick cartoon. Go ahead. I'll Wait.

Done? No? Not going to do it? You just have to be stubborn don't you? Fine. Cobra Commander is currently using a laser to carve his face into the moon's surface. Happy?

While Destro is belittling Cobra Commander for spending so much time, money, and effort on something so silly Lady Jaye, Gung Ho, and Amber arrive. Quick Kick is freed and and a battle ensues. Cobra Commander, Destro, and the Baroness take the opportunity to run.

The three Joes and Amber give chase. With only one helicopter between them Quick Kick and Amber leave Gung Ho and Lady Jaye to mop up.

During the aerial chase Quick Kick and Amber are grounded and are under fire from Destro. Quick Kick is able to damage Destro's helicopter just as the Joe reinforcements arrive.

Cobra Commander, Destro, and the Baroness escape but Snake Island is lost to the Joes. The episode ends with Duke telling Amber that the Joes would be happy to have her. Amber says she has had enough excitement for a while and might join up after she finishes college.

Before I get into whether or not the episode was good I have to mention that it was written by comic legend Marv Wolfman. I can see what he was trying to do but this episode fell flat on its face. The entire episode is just stupid. None of it makes logical sense. Why would Amber break into the Joe HQ? How could she break into the Joe HQ? Why would one of the Joes just flat out tell her the security code? Why would she just start running around the base? Why would Duke let the tour continue after the first time she heard something classified let alone the second time? Why would Amber go to a Cobra base? How did she get there? Did she have a plan? How can she be so stupid? Oh and let's not forget another important question. Why would Cobra Commander want to vandalize the moon? This episode is just made up of stupid nonsense. And to be perfectly honest it's still slightly enjoyable. It's just so batshit insane you can't help but smile. Having said that, there is no reason to watch this. Aside from all the other reasons listed here Quick Kick is just annoying. His constant movie quotes/impressions feel forced. His character isn't strong enough to carry an entire episode. Definitely one to pass over.

Quote of the Episode.

From Quick Kick.

"Kung Fu anyone?"

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

To demonstrate that Martial Arts is more than just chopping, Quick Kick chops a metal chain in half. This is both awesome and awesomely stupid.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

While giving a tour of the Joe base, Quick Kick leads amber to the flight deck, once there a female Joe nonchalantly mentions the nights security code. Just like that. She flat out tells this person something that important. No wonder the Joes are constantly being infiltrated. They have the security habits of an elderly person on the Internet.

G.I.Joe Episode 28
The Germ.

This episode begins in a hospital room. A man is seated next to a patient. As he reads a magazine he receives a message from Tomax and Xamot. He is told to steal Bacteria X and take it to Cobra HQ.

The man quickly changes into his Crimson Guardsman uniform and completes his missions. He is seen by the Doctor in charge of the bacteria but is able to escape none the less.

Once he arrives at the Cobra HQ he hands the vial of bacteria over to Destro. when Destro orders him to leave he tells Destro that he has orders to watch his work and report back to Tomax and Xamot. Destro is upset by this in walks away.

The Guardsman contacts Tomax and Xamot to inform them that Destro has yet to begin working. The twins tell him to bring the vial to them. As he grabs the vial he notices a second vial labeled "Experimental Growth Serum". he decides to take it as well.

This turns out to be a bad idea as an alarm sounds and Cobra troopers are sent after him. He is chased throughout the HQ and out into the surrounding area. The Guardsman calls for back up leading to a Cobra on Cobra battle. During the fight he drops both vials which break on landing and create a giant super germ.

The germ grows rapidly and soon covers a large portion of the Cobra base. It even absorbs the Guardsman and two other Cobra troopers.

With the Germ on the move it isn't long until G.I.Joe is called in. They attack the germ with their Sky Strikers to no avail. Their missiles are just absorbed into the giant mass and sent back out at them. During the battle Ace's jet is damaged and he is forced to land on a small farm. Once their he borrows a crop duster and tries to use pesticides to kill the germ.

This back fires and he is caught in a deadly cloud of pesticide. He lands the borrowed plane but the Joes are unable to get to him. It isn't until Air tight arrives that Ace is removed from the plane. Luckily he is none the worse for wear.

After that first encounter Airtight comes up with a plan. He will fly a plane into the germ and plant bombs loaded with Anti Biotics in the nucleus of the germ. He flies the plane alone but Ace is right beside him in another Sky Striker.

Once inside the germ Ace cuts radio contact. He finds that the germ is filled with missiles from the absorbed Cobra base and is a veritable mine field. He is able to navigate through the body of the germ and leaves the plane to plant his bombs. While swimming through the germ he is attacked by two Cobra troops. He fights the two of them off and plants the bomb. During the skirmish the two Cobra troops end up inside the nucleus with the bomb. I'm sure they'll be fine.

When Air tight goes back to his ship he finds that he has been locked out. He forces his way and finds the Crimson Guardsman. The two call a truce and make it out of the germ right before the bomb goes off.

Outside the germ the Doctor from earlier has informed Flint that the germ is resistant to Anti Biotics and that their attack may in fact make it stronger.

At first the attack seems to work but the Germ not only survives, it splits into two. One of which is headed right for New York.

Thanks to a comment from Ship Wreck, Airtight and the Doctor deduct that the germ can be killed by apples. Apparently apple seeds have a small amount of poison on them. In small quantities they are perfectly safe but if a large enough amount is ingested than death is a given. I didn't bother to see if that is true. If you want to take a few minutes out of you life to find out, then go right ahead.

With a solution set before them the Joes head out to kill the two germs with apples. The first is lead to an apple orchid. It does not die but is weakened. A second orchid does the trick.

The second germ is more of a problem. There are no orchids in sight so the Joes decide to bombard the germ with weaponized apples. They literally shove apples down the barrels of their guns and shoot at the thing. This doesn't work. But it does slow the germ down long enough for an aerial Apple drop to finish it off.

The episode ends with the Joes covered in what is either apple sauce or mucus. I can't tell which. Oh and the two Cobra troops did survive. I told you they would be fine.

This is the perfect example of a stupid idea done well. The writing was tight, the voice work was top notch, and the animation on the germs was fluid. This shouldn't have been a good episode but somehow it worked. And any episode with Ship Wreck is automatically recommended. So I can doubly recommend this one.

Quote of the Episode.

From the Crimson Guardsman.

"My orders come from Cobra Commander himself, in triplicate."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Ship Wreck, being awesome like only he can, stands atop a Joe vehicle and throws apples at the giant germ. Even with it bearing down on him he refuses to relent. Until Cover Girl bribes him with a date.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

The Joes figure out that the only way to beat the germs is with apples. While that makes little sense, the way they go about this is just silly. First they lead one germ to an apple orchard, which just seems like a lot of work when you can drop apples on it from the air, but I'll let that slide. What comes next however is just so ridiculous that it crosses over from silly to unbelievable. The Joes, with no orchids in sight, decide to fight the second germ by firing apples from their vehicles and weapons. Even though his makes no sense, I mean how did they make their weapons apple compatible? It gets worse. Eventually a group of Sky Strikers appear and drop apples on the germ. Meaning they could have just done that from the start.

G.I.Joe Episode 29
The Viper is Coming.

This episode begins with a party being thrown by Barbecue. It's worth noting that the Joes are not the best behaved guests or host. We see Barbecue give Scarlet a burger that is on fire, a basketball game being played more like full contact football, and Alpine trying to teach Foot Loose how to climb by repelling down from the second floor and breaking the railing.

During this, rather out of control, affair the phone rings. An ominous voice calling itself the Viper gives Barbeque a very vague message.

Scarlett believes the message must be about Cobra. After some brainstorming the Joes are off to Antarctic. Once there Alpine notices a strangely shaped rock and attempts to take it for his collection. The rock turns out to be a switch that activates a hidden passageway into a Cobra base.

Lady Jaye, Gung Ho, and Barbecue are trapped inside the base and learn that it is in fact a R&R facility. It contains the Cobra Commander Gymnasium, a Destro Dining Room, and the Zartan Entertainment Center.

The Joes walk into the gym and a huge fight breaks out. At first it is contained between the three Joes and the Cobra troops in the Gymnasium but it soon spreads. A fleet of Cobra jets is scrambled to fight the Joes outside the base. As the fight goes on the Joes receive some back up from a small fleet of Sky Strikers.

Even though the Cobra troops appear to have greater numbers they surrender anyway. With that battle over the Joes head back to Barbecue's place.

It isn't long until the Viper calls a second time. This message leads the Joes to West Point academy. A huge ceremony is being held attended by numerous high ranking officers and politicians.

Scarlett attempts to inform the Tank commander, why there are tanks at this ceremony I have no idea, of the possible danger only to find that he is in fact Major Bludd.

A battle ensues. Even the cadets take part. The Joes once again get the upper hand but Major Bludd escapes.

After that hard fought battle the Joes once again return to Barbeque's house. Yet again the Viper calls.

The Joes believe the next target to be the top floor of Extensive Enterprises HQ. They assemble at the building and Scarlett, Barbecue, and Snake Eyes head in first.

As this is happening Destro is accusing Major Bludd of being the Viper. The Crimson twins argue that it can't possibly be Bludd because he has been with them for the entire day. From the state of their clothes and office it would appear that this argument went past a verbal confrontation.

With the Joes arrival the accusations are put on hold and another battle breaks out. Scarlett, Barbecue, and Snake Eyes are gassed in the elevator while Cobra Helicopters try to take out Wild Bill. On the ground level Zartan leads a group of Cobra troops against a group of Joes. The battle is fierce and not easily won but the Joes come out on top again. Zartan, the twins, Destro and Major Bludd escape leaving the Joes none the wiser as to who the Viper is.

For one last time the Joes return to Barbeque's place and receive yet another call. This time the Viper tells them that he is coming their himself. The Joes arm themselves for the forthcoming confrontation and await the mysterious Viper.

Before I tell you who the Viper is I have to say that up to this point, aside from the Joes party antics, the episode has been great. The action has been fast, fierce, and smooth. The animation is top notch and is a great example of good 80s animation. In fact if it wasn't for what comes next I would say this episode was damn near perfect. Now here comes the part that kinda kills that.

The Viper reveals himself to be... a window Wiper with a thick accent. Each of his clues were in fact nothing more than his price, schedule, where he would begin cleaning, and when he would arrive. This entire episode was nothing more than a set up for a stupid joke. That kills me. This was so good. The episode was full of great action and a decent plot and it was all for this? I would say it was let down, because it is, but the action still holds up. . If you don't mind a crappy ending give it a try. Other wise just skip it. On a side note, Barbeque's accent is just ear grating. It's supposed to be a Boston accent but it sounds wrong

Quote of the Episode.

From Major Bludd.

"Now I know how Custer felt."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

The entire West Point battle is amazing. The animation and action is top notch. Not to mention that seeing the West Point cadets fighting along side the Joes is just awesome.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

At the beginning of the episode the Joes are at Barbecue's place having a party. That seems perfectly normal until you notice just how destructive the party is. Basically the Joes are assholes. I mean one of the Green Shirts trips Road Block and sends him falling out of a window. See. Assholes.

G.I.Joe Episode 30
Spell of The Siren.

This episode begins aboard a ship in the Adriatic sea. The Joes are sending a group below the water to see what Cobra is doing down their.

Lady Jaye notices that the seabed is littered with the remains of may sunken ships. As the Joes search for Cobra, A Cobra force led by Destro and the Baroness are searching for the conch of the Sirens. A shell that, legend has it, can control the minds of men.

The Baroness finds the shell just as the Joes attack. Destro joins the battle in the hopes of leading his men to victory. He makes sure to send the Baroness off with the shell first. The battle ends with the Joes victorious and Destro captured.

The Baroness makes her escape but is confronted by Lady Jaye. During their fight the cloth that had been wrapped around the shell is grabbed by Lady Jaye.

The Baroness escapes with the cloth but is not welcomed by Cobra Commander. She presents the shell only for it to be smacked away by the angered Cobra Commander. The Baroness is not daunted and searches out Major Bludd to see if he will be more open minded.

Meanwhile the Joes have learned just what Cobra has from the shell's cloth. Now knowing just how dangerous the shell could be they are on high alert.

The Baroness makes her way to Alaska, where Major Bludd is leading a Cobra squadron in an attack on the Alaskan pipeline, only for Major Bludd to dismiss the shell as well.

This changes when the Joes arrive and the shell proves it usefulness. It renders every male Joe and Cobra soldier useless.

Now that the Shell has been proved effective Cobra Commander wants it. The Baroness has a different idea. After Cobra Commander refused to rescue the captured Destro, the Baroness refuses to hand the shell over. Cobra Commander attempts to take the shell but he and all of his men fall under the Siren's spell.

At Joe HQ Flint and Roadblock are interrogating a less than helpful Destro. As this is happening the Baroness leads an army of female Cobra soldiers in an attempt to free Destro.

At first the battle seems evenly matched until the Baroness uses the shell to take over the minds of the male Joes. With them under her control the fight is easily won. Destro is freed and the Baroness leaves with an army of mind-washed Joes.

With Destro at her side she sets up her own base and plans her next move. Destro watches all of this with pride but asks about Cobra Commander. The Baroness shows Destro that Cobra Commander is also under her control but is locked away just in case. She also mentions that Tomax is imprisoned as well. Destro tells her to be wary of Xamot as the two leave the dungeon.

Speaking of Xamot he is there in secret. As is Lady Jaye. She has snuck in to gather information but is quickly captured. She is taken to the dungeon but is freed by Xamot. The two form a truce and she takes him to the Joe HQ.

Once there they are joined by the other female Joes and Wild Bill, Recondo, and Ripcord, who were off base during the attack. The Joes join with Xamot and attack the base with a device that could free the controlled men.

The Device works and the the Baroness's forces are quickly over powered. Xamot breaks away from the Joes and frees his brother and Cobra Commander. As the battle comes to an end Destro and Baroness maker their escape as well.

With the Joes freed of the shell Lady Jaye and Scarlett destroy it to make the world safe for men.

This was a fun episode. It was nice to see just how many female Cobra and Joe soldiers their were. Also, since I have a thing for the Baroness, any episode that puts her in the spotlight is welcomed. All in all this was a fun episode that I can easily recommend. Give it a shot.

Quote of the Episode.

From Duke.

"Yo Joe! Hit them high and hit them low."

Awesome Moment of the Episode.

Watching the three main Joe ladies fighting, not only the Baroness led female Cobra troopers but the male Joes as well, was pretty damn cool.

The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.

So Cobra Commander, after seeing that the Siren's shell does in fact have the power to control all men and is being held by the Baroness, sends Tomax after her. This ends about as well as you would expect.

While not all of these episode were good they were all fun to watch. Maybe I'm just easily amused but I have so much fun watching this show. It's so cheesy but earnest at the same time. Take each individual review for what it is worth but unless I flat say that I hated hated an episode I probably still enjoyed it a little bit.