Another Monday is upon us. Which means it's time to delve back into the 80's and watch some classic G.I.Joe. But before I talk about episodes 31-35, I wanted to mention the G.I.Joe Retaliation. The first Joe movie, which I never really watched, was badly received. From I did see I can understand why. Having said that the new movie looks like it will be amazing check out the Trailer here.
G.I.Joe Episode 31
Cobra Quake.This episode begins with Flint and Gung Ho flying an airliner to Japan. We are told, by Lady Jaye, that the plane is full of third world dignitaries and is on it's way to Japan for an economic delegation.
The plane is being followed by Cobra Rattlers and Cobra Commander orders it to be taken down. The plane lands and is about to be boarded by Cobra soldiers, but it turns out that this was a trap by the Joes. A Joe tank comes out of the plane as a fleet of Sky Strikers show up. The Cobra forces are scared off and the Joes continue on their way to Japan.
Cobra Commander and the Baroness witness this. The Baroness tells Cobra Commander that the delegates will be to well guarded to try again. Cobra Commander laughs it off and tells her he has another plan.
We soon learn that all of the Joes are at the conference except for Quick Kick and Bazooka who are running a training camp in Hokkaido.
Speaking of Hokkaido we watch as Quick Kick and Bazooka put the recruits through their paces. Bazooka, being basically useless, ends up being thrown by a female recruit named Tako and sulks off. The two move from hand to hand combat to bomb defusal so that Bazooka can fail yet again. He has a minute to defuse a bomb but is unable to. As the fake bomb quite literally goes "Boom" an earthquake hits. Bazooka falls through a fault to his apparent death.
As the quake ends Quick Kick says a few words for his fallen friend only to learn that he had survived the fall and is still trying to figure out how to defuse the bomb. Good old Bazooka. Dumb as a bag of stupid rocks.
Back in Tokyo Flint and Lady Jaye are confused about how an area with no active fault lines can have a huge earth quake. The remember that a Japanese scientist has been working on a way to prevent earthquakes using targeted explosives and theorize that Cobra must be doing the opposite.
Lady Jaye and Bazooka are sent to meet the Doctor at a Shinto shrine. They arrive just as two hooded men grab him and make a run for it. The two Joes catch up with them and learn that the men are in fact Cobra ninjas and that the scientist is Storm Shadow in disguise.
The two Joes attack the ninjas but end up on the losing end of the fight. They are thrown from the top of the shrine and end up in a large pond. Just as all seems lost Quick Kick arrives. Storm Shadow and the Cobra ninjas still escape but Quick Kick and Bazooka are hot on their heels, while Lady Jaye tries to find the real scientist.
Quick Kick and Bazooka follow Storm Shadow to a theater but are attacked by puppets controlled by Scrap Iron. The puppets put up a better fight than most of Cobra's troops. The two Joes end up below the stage with a puppet bomb. Bazooka wants to defuse it but Quick Kick, knowing that Bazooka is as useful as a pair of broken chop sticks, elects to run instead.
Meanwhile Lady Jaye arrives at the scientist's lab but finds the place ransacked. While looking through the remains she finds a book that she believes will give have the information the Joes need. Unfortunately that is when the Baroness arrives and states that the scientist had been very unhelpful but Lady Jaye has found exactly what they needed. One net later and Cobra has all the necessary information to destroy Tokyo with an earthquake.
As Cobra Commander and the Baroness gloat over the chained Lady Jaye and scientist, Quick Kick and Bazooka arrive. Cobra Commander and the Baroness escape but only after they release dozens of venomous snakes. Quick Kick uses a fire extinguisher to freeze the snakes and the Joes plus one scientist escape.
They meet back up with Flint. After a little work the scientist pinpoints the three places that Cobra would have to plant the bombs. Flint and Lady Jaye go to one, Quick Kick and Gung Ho to another, and Bazooka and Tako, a recruit from earlier, go to the last one.
The three bombs are quickly found and all that's left is for Bazooka to talk the other Joes through defusing the bombs. He does it, barely, but before he can cut the last wire a Cobra copter shows up. Tako cuts the last wire but the two are still under fire. Bazooka saves her life and destroys the copter with a Joe motorcycle.
With the day won and the conference a success all that's left is to celebrate. The five Joes and Tako sit down to a traditional Japanese dinner. The octopus does not go down well.
I don't like Quick Kick. I find his movie quotes and celebrity impersonations annoying. I hate that this series has made Bazooka borderline retarded. Having said that, I enjoyed this episode. It was a good stand alone episode. The story was tight, the animation was fluid, and the voice acting was strong. Not to mention that the budding relationship between Bazooka and Tako was cute. I recommend it.
Quote of the Episode.
From Flint.
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Bazooka, in a rare moment of competence, jumps his bike into the air and takes out a Cobra Helicopter. In all fairness he was a lot more competent in this episode than others.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
Lady Jaye is kidnapped and placed in a Cobra dungeon while still armed.. I'm sure this is just an animation mistake but she is strung up with all of her weapons. She has her Javelin quiver on her back and a knife on her chest. Like I said I'm sure it's just an animation error but it really stood out.
G.I.Joe Episode 32
Captives of Cobra Part 1.This episode begins outside a secret Cobra Lab. We watch as an operative delivers an unknown substance to one of the scientist. The scientist adds it to an experiment that goes haywire.
The entire base goes up in a huge explosion. In the aftermath of the explosion a small cluster of crystals form.
From there we move to a Joe base as Gung Ho is about to leave for some R&R. He is stopped by Duke who tells him that his shore leave is cancelled.
Duke and Lady Jaye inform Gung Ho of the explosion and tells him that they are being called in due to the incident being related to Cobra. Lady Jaye asks if she should call the other Joes back but Duke holds off on it.
At the site or the explosion Duke and a group of Joes inspect the much larger cluster of crystals. They learn that the crystals are explosive and are growing. Duke knows that Cobra will want the crystals back and that the Joes will need all the help they can get. He call the resting Joes back.
All of this was observed by the Baroness and Cobra Commander. The Baroness suggests kidnapping the Joes relatives. Cobra Commander states the Joes real identities are closely guarded. The Baroness sends Storm Shadow to gather the pertinent information.
From there we go to a quick series of scenes showing the Joes being called back to work. As each one leaves their families are confronted by Cobra troops and taken into custody.
First is Quick Kick's parents, followed by Scarlett's Father and three brothers, then Thunder's parents and sister, next are Ship Wrecks Aunt, Uncle, and Nephew, Spirit's Grandfather and cousin, and finally Barbeque's Father.
As this is happening the Joes are testing the crystals. They have a portion shipped to Dusty and Footloose in the middle of a desert. The two set the crystal off and learn that while the explosion is large the crystal is completely destroyed by it.
With the cluster of crystals cut into smaller pieces and the recalled Joes on sight all that is left to do is transport the dangerously explosive material to a safe place.
Meanwhile the Baroness is having the Joe's families brainwashed so that they can be used against the Joes themselves. The mind control is not perfect but the Baroness pushes forward none the less.
At the crystal site the Joes have loaded the crystals into a huge ATV and are moving them, carefully, to a safe location. Duke sends the recalled Joes to recon the road. They are stopped by what appears to be a group of Cobra troops. Ship Wreck notices that one of the soldiers is in fact his nephew. The other Joes then recognize their families. The episode ends with the Joes in shock as their families begin to attack.
I'm somewhat torn on this episode. The idea behind it is sound but the animation was weak. The faces of some of the characters looked almost deformed. But the story was pretty good. I have to hold of judgement until I see the second part. Until then consider this a cautious recommendation.
From Duke.
"They'll come alright."
Storm Shadow leads a group of Cobra troops against Scarlett's father and brothers. The O'Hara family run a martial arts studio but are no match for Storm Shadow. It just goes to show that white people can play at martial arts but when an actual Asian person shows up the gig is up.
When Spirit is called away from his family his grandfather asks if he will leave them for the "White Man". When you add that to the Baroness referring to the old man as "Indian" I can't help but sense a slight undertone of racism.
Captives of Cobra Part 2.
After a quick recap this episode begins where the last one left off. Scarlett, Barbecue, Ship wreck, Spirit, Quick Kick, and Thunder are faced with their, now brain washed, families. Scarlett believes they will not attack the Joes. This seems to be true at first until the Baroness has the mind control turned up to 11.
The captives begin to fire on the the Joes and ATV. Duke orders Gung Ho to take control of the ATV, which can be driven from either the front or rear ends. Gung Ho, as ordered, takes the ATV off road.
The remaining Joes attempt to use knock out gas on their families to no avail. The captives fire on the Joes and force them to retreat. With them out of the way the Baroness orders the captives to follow the ATV.
As that is happening the ATV is in danger of exploding. The road was closed off by a rock-slide. Unable to blow their way through Gung Ho attempts to drive over the rocks. The ATV loses it's grip but Gung Ho is able to save it.
With the captives getting closer Wild Bill is called in. He drops a giant net on them. The Joes wrap their family members in the net and Wild Bill begins to carry them away. The baroness activates the captives battle suits and destroys the net. The Joes see their family members fall from the sky. Scarlett, Barbecue, Ship Wreck, Thunder, Spirit, and Quick Kick watch as the captives safely land in the water.
The Baroness orders a ship to retrieve the captives as Ship Wreck attempts to save his nephew. Spirit stops him. He tells Ship Wreck that to save their families they have to free their minds. Scarlett sends Wild Bill to follow the ship while. She realizes that that Cobra most have a base nearby to keep the captives under control.
As the Scarlett led Joes search for the base Duke informs her that the captives are closing in on the ATV. The Joes find the base and attack. With time running low Dusty and Footloose attempt to stall the captives.
At the base the Joes reach the lab but are told that anything they do to the controls will destroy the minds of the captives. With Dusty and Footloose under fire, the ATV at risk, and the crystals in danger, the Scarlett led joes have no choice but to destroy the controls.
Before that can be done the Baroness orders Ship Wreck's nephew to close in on the crystals. With the boy about to hit the crystals with a rock she orders Duke to surrender. As Duke surrenders the other Joes destroy the controls and free the captives.
The Baroness is not ready to give up just yet. She sends Cobra Rattlers to attack the Joes while she uses a giant Air base to capture the ATV and the crystals inside it.
The other Joes arrive and it is an all out battle with an ATV full of highly explosive crystals at stake. The former captives join in the battle and the Joes fight off Cobra. During the battle the ATV is dropped from the air and causes a huge explosion.
The Joes and their families are reunited and safe. The episode ends with the Joes realizing that the files Cobra had stolen included the info on one more Joe, Gung Ho. Duke realizes that the Baroness could attack Gung Ho's family for revenge. The Joes head out only to find Gung Ho's family safe, the Cobra troopers captured, and the Baroness running in fear.
Now that I've seen the second episode I can say that this two parter, aside from a few technical issues, was actually really good. The story, plot, and pacing were top notch. The Baroness came off as truly dangerous and evil while the Joes overcame adversity through skill and hard work. That is what the Joes are about. This was a great example of what the Joes are capable of and why Cobra is an actual threat. The animation in the second episode was much better than the previous episodes. All in all these two episodes add up to a good watch. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn good. Give it a shot.
Quote of the Episode.
From Jesse (Ship Wreck's nephew).
"I am not a brat!"
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Most of these episodes end with a joke. These are usually one liners but this episode ends with a scene that is just awesome. After the Baroness's loss she seeks revenge by going after Gung Ho's family. This is a bad idea. Not only are their 147 of them but they live deep in the swamp and are not to be messed with. Just look at the picture above. The female members of the family are all armed. With knives. That is awesome. And kind of hot.
The Joes attempt to use knock out gas to stop their family members. To protect themselves from the gas the Joes put on gas masks. Including Barbeque. Who is wearing a full fire suit which has a built in air supply. Okay, I know that the the suit may not be air tight but it just looks silly.
G.I.Joe Episode 34
Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent.This episode begins with Bazooka and Alpine on a G.I.Joe hover craft that is being driven by Cutter. Bazooka is fishing for their dinner.
The hovercraft, which appears to have a problem with its engine, lands on a small island. The Joes make camp for the night. While cleaning up Bazooka sees a Cobra Trouble Bubble being eaten by a giant Sea Serpent. Alpine and Cutter dismiss this.
The next morning on their way to the Joe Aircraft carrier the three come upon whats left of a ship. Clinging to the debris are a mother, a father, and their young son. Bazooka jumps into the water to help the three people onto the hovercraft.
When they arrive at the Aircraft Carrier Duke speaks to the son. He learns that their ship was attacked by something. Whatever it was devoured the ships engine, generator, and sadly Bucky the family dog. Alpine jokes that it was probably Bazooka's sea serpent. Duke has Bazooka take the boy to get some rest ignoring what he believes to be a joke.
While Duke may not believe in a sea serpent he knows that a number of ships have been attacked recently. He sends Lady Jaye and Quick Kick to recon the area in a Sky Striker.
Meanwhile a group of men are discussing their mutual problem. Some one is trying to hold the shipping lanes hostage. Their ships are being attacked and they are powerless to do anything. As they talk Tomax and Xamot arrive. The Crimson Twins tell the men they are to make a payment into a Swiss bank account on the first of every month if they want their ships to be safe.
On a nearby island Lady Jaye and Quick Kick land to find Ship Wreck who has some information on what they are looking for. He leads them to the other side of the island and shows them a ship that is flying the skull and crossbones. The two Joes sneak aboard the ship and find Cobra Commander who is speaking to the Twins. It appears the serpent is under Cobra Commanders control. At least until the remote control that he was using is destroyed in the ensuing fight. The now uncontrollable sea serpent devours the ship and all aboard.
While passing through the creature Lady Jaye is saved by Professor Braxton. Quick Kick, Cobra commander, and two Cobra troops are not as lucky. The four men are taken further into the creature. They are asked if they will work. One of the Cobra troopers is forced, by Cobra commander, to say no. He is taken away and presumably killed.
Meanwhile Professor Braxton leads Lady Jaye to a secret room. It is here that we learn that the Professor was forced into turning the serpent into a weapon for Cobra commander. We also see that Bucky is alive and that all of the people consumed by the serpent, at least the ones who agreed to work, are placed in a sorting room. I am not completely clear on what it is that they are doing but they are being worked hard. Among them is Cobra Commander, the remaining Cobra trooper, and Quick Kick.
The, now out of control, sea serpent is attacking anything and everything it can find. The Joes are doing their best to keep it at bay. As this is happening the Crimson Twins, the Baroness, and Destro watch with enjoyment. The decide to sit back and let the G.I. Joes handle the serpent. When they have bested it the four of them will rescue Cobra Commander.
In the sorting room Quick Kick is contacted by Lady Jaye and the Professor. During this conversation we learn that the serpent grows as it consumes. The more it eats the bigger it gets and the Professor cannot stop it.
Duke learns that the serpent is heading to New York harbor for it's next meal. He scrambles the Joes and attempts to cut it off. When the serpent arrives Duke attacks it with a Sky Striker to no avail.
The Joe tanks are also useless. On the inside of the serpent the Professor causes an energy bleed. This will disrupt the serpent internal mechanisms.
With the serpent weakened Alpine and Bazooka attack. This appears useless at first but Bazooka is able to trick the serpent into attacking itself. Say what you will about Bazooka, I usually call him borderline retarded, but the guy has some brass ones on him. I mean he attacks a giant sea serpent, which has brushed off tank shells, with a bazooka.
With the serpent damaged on the inside and out it begins to sink to the bottom of the harbor. The Crimson Twins, The Baroness, and Destro send cobra troops to rescue Cobra Commander while the Joes attempt to bring the damaged serpent to the surface.
Inside the serpent Lady Jaye carries the Professor to safety while Cobra Commander and the Cobra trooper look for a way out. The both end up in the same place. Cobra commander attempts to force the professor to show him how to escape but causes the serpent's internal security to attack. He is forced out of the serpent while the Joes and the professor escape to safety. Cobra commander swims to the surface along with the Cobra troops sent to rescue him and escapes.
The Joes bring the serpent to the surface and save all the people left aboard. After Bucky is reunited with his master the episode ends with the professor congratulating Bazooka on destroying the Serpent.
So was this a good episode? Yes, yes it was. It had the Joes fighting a giant monster. What more can you want? Sure it also had Quick Kick who I find annoying but he wasn't in the episode much so I'll let that slide. This was a silly episode but it was fun. The animation was run of the mill but not bad by any stretch of the imagination. All things considered there was more to like than dislike. Watch it if you get the chance.
From Lady Jaye.
"Hang on to your dog tags Bucky."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Tomax and Xamot show up for a business meeting by water skiing on one ski each. To top that off they leave by being holding unto a rope hanging from a plane. Why? Because that's how the Crimson Twins roll.
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
People on a cruise ship watch a news report showing the serpent about to attack a cruise ship. When they see the report they realize that it's their ship. Which means they didn't see the giant robotic sea monster just a few hundred feet away.
G.I.Joe Episode 35
Excalibur.This episode begins with the Joes on their way to the British Isles. They are transporting a new Anti Cobra Radar system. The team in on high alert because they know it is only a matter of time before Cobra strikes.
When the Aircraft Carrier's Radar picks up an incoming fleet of Rattlers Duke scrambles the Sky Strikers. During the fight Storm Shadow is shot down. This causes Major Bludd to call a retreat, much to Destro's disgust.
Storm Shadow flies inland and crashes in a lake. As the plane sinks he notices something. As he leaves the wreckage he swims closer and finds a sword. When he reaches the water's surface he exclaims that he has found Excalibur.
By taking the sword, with out the Lady of the Lake's approval, Storm Shadow has caused a huge storm. With all the rain the Aircraft carrier can not risk docking. As such the Anti Cobra Radar system is loaded onto a hover craft and taken into a small town for protection.
At an undisclosed location we see Cobra Commander blaming Destro for the attacks failure. Destro states that it was Major Bludd's cowardice that cost them the battle. Cobra Commander is uninterested and states that if they do not destroy the new radar system they will never be able to secretly attack the British Isles again.
Lucky for them the lake Storm Shadow landed in was nearby the town the Joes have stored the radar. He arrives in the town and is about to destroy the Radar components but is found out. He uses Excalibur to fight off the Joes.
Storm Shadow steals a Joe Motorcycle but before he can drive away Footloose jumps aboard. The two fighting causes the bike to crash. Storm Shadow is unhurt but Footloose is knocked out. Storm Shadow lifts the unconscious Joe and takes him to a Cobra base.
Back at the town Spirit tells Duke that the storm is not natural. Duke dismisses this, as a random Irish stereotype walks in. He tells the Joes that the town and more importantly the lake is the home of Excalibur. The man goes on to say that the rain will not stop until the sword is returned to the lake. Duke thanks the man but does not believe him. He sends Spirit and Quick kick out to find Footloose.
Storm Shadow, meanwhile, has arrived at the Cobra Base, which we can now see is located in a castle, with Footloose. As Storm Shadow tells Cobra Commander where the Anti Cobra Radar is located Footloose comes to and makes a break for it. Storm Shadow uses Excalibur, which Destro recognizes, to stop the Joe. Destro decides that he must have the sword before Cobra Commander realizes what it is capable of.
Spirit and Quick Kick are closing in on the base as Lady Jaye informs Duke that a local dam is about to burst. As the two Joes over look the dam the random Irish Stereotype returns. He informs Duke that the only thing that can save them is for the sword to be returned. Duke is starting to believe him.
With Cobra heading towards the town the Joes evacuate the residents. Duke plans on making a stand by the lake to protect both the town and the radar system. As the battle rages Duke sends Mutt and Junkyard to make sure the town is empty. As that is happening Destro targets Storm Shadow with a rocket launcher. He plans on killing him and taking the sword for himself. Unfortunately Destro has a case of the sniffles and misses. .
In the town Mutt and Junkyard find a kitten just as the errant rocket strikes a nearby house. Mutt and Junkyard are knocked out. The Joes are not doing well but the tables turn when Wild Bill leads a group of Dragon Flies into the fight. As the Joes rally for a victory Major Bludd destroys the dam and the Cobra Forces retreat.
The Joes ride out the wave but lament the lost of the radar system and the damage to the town. Duke orders for some of Joes to start a clean up detail and then turns his attention to Quick Kick, Spirit, and Footloose.
Speaking of which, Quick Kick and Spirit finally arrive at the Cobra base. Quick Kick attempts to sneak in but is attacked by Storm Shadow. He is thrown from the top of the castle and injures his leg. Spirit is able to heal him. With his leg fixed the two Joes sneak into the base through a hidden entrance.
Once inside it doesn't take long before they find Footloose. It also doesn't take long before the three are spotted. They end up in a room with a large spotlight. Quick Kick fashions a signal to alert the other Joes to their location. With that done the three Joes attempt to leave the base. Quick Kick stays behind to hold off the Cobra troops.
Luckily the other Joes were able to follow the signal and arrive in time to help with the fight. As Spirit and Footloose join the other Joes, Quick Kick is once again fighting Storm Shadow.
Cobra's resident Ninja is too much for Quick Kick especially with Excalibur. Spirit sends Freedom to help. Freedom grabs Excalibur and flies away. Quick Kick is still unable to defeat Storm Shadow but without the sword the ninja leaves to fight another day.
Freedom returns the sword to the lake and ends the rain in doing so. The Joes continue their attack until Cobra retreats. With the day won all that's left is to repair the town and the dam.
I enjoyed this episode. Like most of the episodes this week it wasn't great but it was fun. The animation was decent and the voice acting top notch. I especially liked Spirit's inner monologue about Quick Kick. If you get the chance give it a shot.
Quote of the Episode.
From Flint.
"Nothing prettier than a Cobra in you Cross-hairs."
Awesome Moment of the Episode.
Towards the end of the episode Spirit calls his Eagle Freedom to help Quick Kick. This results in Freedom taking Excalibur from Storm Shadow. The image of Freedom carrying Excalibur is just so Metal. That should totally be an album cover.
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| That cat's like "Oh My. That is a great deal of water!" |
The "Wait. What?" Moment of the Episode.
Look at that picture. That cat is shocked. Absolutely shocked at the amount of water coming at them.
This has been a pretty good week. Nothing great but nothing bad either. In fact the good out weighed the bad and I can't ask for more than that. "Know your Joe" and "Cobra's Most Wanted" will return next week. Until then watch some G.I.Joe.
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